What if the reason why women do most of the emotional labour is that we don't count it as emotional labour when men do it? (I was surprisingly reluctant to tweet this even on alt)
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Men are allowed to be aggressive or get angry without anywhere near as much much criticism. Other emotions like lust are also still perceived as more typically male. But men are generally judged for what one might call pro-social emotions which women are encouraged to express.
I don't actually think this is true. I think there are different contexts in which men and women are allowed to get angry, but there are a lot of contexts in which women are allowed to get angry in ways that men aren't.
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Like, the entire progressive corner of the internet is an example of that, but I think also women are free to get angry in a lot of cases where men can't because it will invite an escalation to violence.
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It's true that men have a lot of opportunities to get angry when doing power and status games that women are not rewarded for anger though.
End of conversation
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