What if the reason why women do most of the emotional labour is that we don't count it as emotional labour when men do it? (I was surprisingly reluctant to tweet this even on alt)
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Yeah, that's true, this one isn't so unambiguously gendered so much as a thing that often happens in couples. I think it's disproportionately gendered male in my social groups but that's probably idiosyncratic in society at large.
I think this might be a thing that is actually normally not that gender coded but feminism tells us it's bad when women do it so it skews male in more progressive circles? I'm not sure.
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Hmm wait sorry you were replying to a different tweet than I thought you were. I'm not sure now - I still think this tends to be typically gendered male, but it doesn't surprise me that it's a thing that can go both ways, especially in relationships.
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Providing stability? I traditionally think of the stoic man looking after the family, but in practice during a crisis I've more often seen a woman or group of women holding everyone together
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