GeniesLoki

My suspicion is that the correct social model for relationships is something like "everyone is poly in principle but the overwhelming majority of people are monogamous or part of a mostly closed small polycule in practice at any given time."

There was a... Let's call it discussion... Recently about whether "neither poly nor monogamy are better than the other" is a true statement. I think it's mostly a bad frame that conflates way too much to be answerable.

Poly is a better system because it allows for much more freedom of movement while trying to figure things out and partial solutions where total solutions are unworkable. Monogamy and monogamy-like things are often closer to the ideal stable individual arrangement though.

I kinda expect personally to never settle down into a fully monogamous-like relationship, partly because I started too late, partly because I 100% never intend to have kids which removes a major driver, and partly for situational reasons, but most people aren't like me.