GeniesLoki

I feel like people theorising the link between kinks and trauma often miss the point. You don't need complex theories to explain why someone is into a particular kink - it's just fun. What you need to explain is why people are stuck in a particular range of fun things.

Related to this perhaps: I think people are hung up on the idea that kinks require some causal explanation because kinks often involve enjoying "negative" experiences and emotions, but enjoying negative emotions is entirely normal and common.

I don't think enjoying shame in a kink context requires any more explanation than enjoying fear on a roller coaster, or rage while playing a video game. Those are just fun emotions in the right context.

wait wait wait you *enjoy* the rage part of playing games? I see that as part of the price I must pay. As for rollercoasters, I think the adrenalin boost you get from them is pleasurable, whereas genuine fear of harm coming to me or others is not

Right, I think safety in general makes it much easier to enjoy negative emotions (though I don't think it's required). RE rage: Yeah, I think so? It's similarly a safe way to let rage out, gives an adrenaline rush, and it contributes to the satisfaction of victory.

Like you know the bit where you beat part of the game which you've been struggling with and you go "HA! GOT YOU YOU BASTARD!"? That's a *highly* enjoyable way to experience rage.

I don't think of that as rage, just pride and smugness? The rage part is when I've been struggling on a part, nearly get there, then I get wiped out through bad luck. No good.

Hmm I think there's a specific "overcoming an opponent" aspect to it that I think of as rage or at least rage-adjacent? Like there's pride/smugness directed at myself, and victorious rage directed at the game.