I feel like people theorising the link between kinks and trauma often miss the point. You don't need complex theories to explain why someone is into a particular kink - it's just fun. What you need to explain is why people are stuck in a particular range of fun things.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
i don’t understand this. what does it mean for something to be “just fun”? i don’t experience hardly anything as “just fun”
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
I don't mean that it's "just fun" in the sense that it has no other emotional dynamics involved, I mean that the fun is a sufficient explanation for being into it. As to what that means... it's a physically pleasurable creative social activity. What's not to like?
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
the way i interpret your language you’re talking as if fun is an intrinsic property of activities and that doesn’t make ontological sense to me. obviously some things are fun for some people and not others and that’s exactly the phenomenon under investigation
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan @GeniesLoki
most of the common kink stuff is stuff i would not find fun personally, i don’t find pain fun, i don’t find degradation fun in either direction, etc. in my view there’s a lot to be explained here!
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
Do you also feel that there's a lot to be explained about why some people are into D&D and some people are into football?
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
For what it's worth, I do think it's generally not that hard to understand why any given thing is fun, and it's usually not that complicated and for reasons that generalise. Individual variation is usually more down to whether you can / it's worth it to get into it.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
this is really not my experience of kink-flavored activities at all. i would find a lot of them not just unfun but slightly traumatizing to do
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
I think it's probably worth separating out two things: 1. There are things in this that are fun. 2. There are things in this that I actively want to avoid. The second doesn't preclude the first and I think has a lot more variation.
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I feel like you're also looking at fairly extreme examples of kink? Like almost nobody jumps in at the deep end of pain and degradation kink, and there's already a lot of variation at entry level dom/sub stuff.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
there’s something funny going on here on my end. there’s something like... the idea that someone could find kinks pleasurable *by default* implies a level of comfort with sexuality i’ve never had and it brings up a lot of fear and shame and jealousy for me
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
If it helps, a lot of this is a perspective that I've arrived at through trying to model other people. I don't exactly have a well-functioning healthy sexuality myself, though I think we have different problems there.
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