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I feel like people theorising the link between kinks and trauma often miss the point. You don't need complex theories to explain why someone is into a particular kink - it's just fun. What you need to explain is why people are stuck in a particular range of fun things.
Related to this perhaps: I think people are hung up on the idea that kinks require some causal explanation because kinks often involve enjoying "negative" experiences and emotions, but enjoying negative emotions is entirely normal and common.
I don't think enjoying shame in a kink context requires any more explanation than enjoying fear on a roller coaster, or rage while playing a video game. Those are just fun emotions in the right context.
i don’t understand this. what does it mean for something to be “just fun”? i don’t experience hardly anything as “just fun”
Why is any given activity “fun”? What did you learn in your life that makes a specific thing feel good emotionally?
A friend realized he had a huge previously uncovered trauma when he was trying to find out why he had a particular kink. For him it was helpful to discover the link.
For sure! There's a lot of useful info in the link. But my point is that the thing that needs to be explained is generally not "Why this?" but "Why this and not others?"
I was thinking this yesterday but re:radicalised people instead of kink. Like yes I’m sure you can look at an ideologue via some social-psychological lens but also maybe it’s just fun to be that involved in a thing, even if possibly very damaging. Power and play are cousins.
To go back to your example, ‘why x and not x+y+... is really interesting. I think it respects the relevant contrainsts of people’s own patterning, without becoming fixed on an interpretive lease (“oh x must be from trauma”)
The analysis is kind of interesting in the same way that arguing about which super hero would win in a fight is, but the outcome of it is just conjecture. And often incidentally shames the kinkster!
I dunno, I think the analysis can often be super useful for people and tends to go far past conjecture because you can use it to investigate your own emotional relationship with the subject. The key is, perhaps ironically, to not do it to other people without their consent.
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