GeniesLoki

Poly seems to get treated as this uber privileged thing, but the reality is that most people are *way* less willing to come out to their families as poly than queer, and with some reason - the worst coming out story in my circles in recent history was a straight poly person.

Besides, there's a huge overlap between the two categories. You can't really even consider poly culture without also considering queer culture.

The poly stereotype that tends to get criticised as the central example of poly is the straight guy who wants to bang lots of women, but honestly unless they're super hot straight men get the worst deal out of poly. Poly culture mostly works best for women and queer people.

Your monogamy is probably fine. I don't really care about it one way or the other, and indeed think a monogamous relationship is probably the right call for the significant majority of people.

But, as with all dominant cultures, monogamy culture has got some serious issues, and yeah people who are slightly outside it and constantly being judged as a result of those issues are going to be hyper aware of those issues.

A lot of why poly people are so mean about monogamy is that we are on the receiving end of the full force of its judgemental bullshit, and are sick of it, and are complaining about that.

Are some of those complaints less than productive? Yeah, definitely. Are poly advocates often super annoying? Yup, for sure.

But "you should only complain about the problems you face as a result of judgement from the dominant culture in a maximally productive way" is not a good look, and a lot of people seem to think it's OK to apply it to poly people in a way they wouldn't to others.