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GailSimone's profile
Gail Simone
Gail Simone
Gail Simone
@GailSimone

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Gail Simone

@GailSimone

Writer of comics and animation, greyhound owner, NOT EVEN A BEAR AT ALL YOU GUYS, superhero guru at @lionforge, repped by Ari Lubet, alubet@3arts.com

I need more dice
Joined August 2008

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    Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

    Folks, I am going to need a little help with something. I just saw a thing so...so broken, so inexplicably wrong, that I am going to have nightmares for a long time. 1/

    9:12 AM - 17 May 2019
    • 60 Retweets
    • 190 Likes
    • Geoff Fial Ember-Z PAS ❤️‍🔥 Johnny Ito Harold Reavley Funniest Comedian Ʀobb Sturtcmaƞ Kat M. Grusome Gabe
    22 replies 60 retweets 190 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        As many of you know, I was at Knotts Berry Farm for their Boysenberry Festival. They have boysenberry jelly beans I like usually, but they were sold out. So I looked on Amazon just now. Just now. Good lord, just now. 2/

        1 reply 0 retweets 56 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        I have already had one boysenberry nightmare recently. I am not sure my psyche is recovered enough for what was revealed by my innocent search for berry-flavored treats. 3/

        2 replies 0 retweets 54 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        God help me, this is the third thing that came up, page one of search results, for "BOYSENBERRY JELLY BEANS." I would say prepare yourself, but there's no preparing for the unholy. 4/

        4 replies 3 retweets 55 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        Last chance. 5/

        4 replies 0 retweets 50 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        This.pic.twitter.com/5OIdzdna2d

        27 replies 4 retweets 114 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        My brothers and sisters. That's not all. This was the photo caption. 7/

        1 reply 0 retweets 58 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        "Jiahonghome Toilet seat Whole Wheat Belgium Waffle Topped with Boysenberry Syrup Whipped Cream Suit for The Toilet $27.99 $27 . 99 $5.98 shipping" 8/

        7 replies 1 retweet 79 likes
        Show this thread
      9. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        "BOYSENBERRY SYRUP WHIPPED CREAM SUIT FOR THE TOILET." 9/

        7 replies 1 retweet 102 likes
        Show this thread
      10. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        I am now going to repeat three GENUINE EXCERPTS from the description. These are REAL. "soft touch, warm, no ball, no instantaneous temperature difference, warm and comfortable Contact with buttocks, no skin irritation ." 10/

        7 replies 2 retweets 99 likes
        Show this thread
      11. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        "The mat is abrasion resistant, dirt resistant, easy to clean, non-slip, and has a soft foot feel " WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS A SOFT FOOT FEEL AND WHY IS IT ON THE TOILET 11/

        6 replies 1 retweet 96 likes
        Show this thread
      12. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        This is the one that will haunt me. "Avoid direct skin contact with the toilet seat surface to prevent bacterial infection. " AVOID DIRECT SKIN CONTACT WITH THE TOILET SEAT. 12/

        4 replies 3 retweets 126 likes
        Show this thread
      13. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        And just to repeat my most curious bit... "Suitable Uses: bathroom toilet etc " WHAT IS THE "ETC" HERE. 13/

        9 replies 1 retweet 97 likes
        Show this thread
      14. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        Seriously. Say you're sick, you're nauseous. You ate bad jalapeenos. Is THIS GODDAMN 7TH LEVEL OF HELL TOILET TORTURE NIGHTMARE THE LAST THING YOU WANT TO SEE BEFORE YOU DIE? 14/pic.twitter.com/KCs9PGFzgc

        11 replies 6 retweets 117 likes
        Show this thread
      15. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        I'm sorry. I'm going to need some time alone away from a world that has this kind of soft foot feel. Boysenberries, all I did was love you? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LET ME DOWN SO BAD? end forever/

        26 replies 0 retweets 128 likes
        Show this thread
      16. Gail Simone‏ @GailSimone 17 May 2019

        PS. I just realized what would happen if you looked down there just before flushing. You would never eat or poop again.

        8 replies 2 retweets 81 likes
        Show this thread
      17. End of conversation

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