I think it's more about how they wish to be regarded and addressed. Since they don't accept that they are male or female, they are not comfortable being addressed as either.
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Replying to @IonaItalia @AllegroRubato
You bring up a good point. The third person issue is a big one, as we tend to refer to people in that way commonly. And, while I'd like us to treat both genders equally, the fact is that they are currently regarded very differently in terms of decorum, expectations and the like.
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Replying to @IonaItalia @AllegroRubato
Let's say I was a female in a male's body. I wanted to go out shopping for ladies' shoes with the girls rather than stay at home with the guys and watch football. If I was regarded as male, this would be socially unacceptable.
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A nonbinary person might want to shop for ladies' shoes but also watch sports with the guys tomorrow. But couldn't reasonably do both if seen as either male or female.
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Replying to @IonaItalia @AllegroRubato
Tango is a bit different. I myself know tango dancers, and no one thinks they're weird for what they like. And sure, some communities are more enlightened, but in general we haven't yet overcome gender expectations, and I think this is what makes non-binary people uncomfortable.
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I know a guy called Akash in Hounslow, London (uni friend). Also, my uncle, Chandi, enjoys tango.
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