it’s really disheartening knowing that i’m the biggest pile of trash both physically and mentally. it really rains on my parade and makes being happy an incredibly difficult charade. in a little bit I think i’ll finally reunite with my blade.
As for suicide, it's best to imagine that, for as long as you're alive you can kill yourself, but once you're dead you can't live again. And you never know, life might get better. So it's best to stay alive. That way the option of both living and dying is always open to you.
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I don’t have the desire to live now, and if I’m dead i’m glad I wouldn’t have the option bc decisions are hard af and cause so much anxiety anyways
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I too want to die. But I see dying as a reward for a long and fruitful life, not as something to pursue for its own sake. In any case, you sound to me like someone who would really benefit from physical activity. It'll make you feel less anxious, and less depressed.
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