You said it yourself; ego *partly* drives people to value their beliefs. There is also reason. But people entwine their conception of themselves with their beliefs so that an attack on their beliefs feels like an attack on them personally.
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Reason can exist independently of ego. Even Kanye West cannot change the fact that 1+1=2.
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1+1=2 is a priori. Hence reason, not empiricism.
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It can happen if we shift the nature of dialogue through process. Good dialogue starts with identity. Problem then those who fetishise conflict and those that don't.
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My personal take is that the culture war is rather a battle of ideologies masquerading as identities.
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