Liberals want both freedom and equality, so generally get neither.
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Libertarians would protect everyone's personal rights and property until they inevitably destroyed the planet on which it all stands.
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Socialists try to make a case for public ownership but always get very publicly owned.
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Right-wing populists are sick of dishonest intellectuals, so they vote for dishonest idiots.
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Left-wing elitists preach that no one is better than anyone, and believe this makes them better than everyone.
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Muslims believe in loose translations of the 7th draft of an illiterate trinket-salesman’s paraphrasings of the Unalterable Word of God.
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Christians believe a Middle Eastern carpenter died for them, so they thank him by drinking his blood and eating his flesh, and turning it into piss & shit.
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Market fundamentalists worship the free market, but no one wants to buy their books.
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Anarchists hate government but are so anarchic they can’t agree on anything else.
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Antifa want to end dehumanization by dehumanizing the dehumanizers.
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Anti-SJWs just want to virtue-signal their lack of virtue-signalling.
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Intersectionalists want to unify people by dividing them into categories.
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White supremacists love white people but hate 99% of white people.
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Critical theorists dismiss race and gender as inventions of a certain race and gender.
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Neoreactionaries are just reactionaries who want to be Neo (from The Matrix).
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(Many of you will think the preceding tweet is just a lame pun, but it's actually the most accurate description in this thread.)
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Finally, simpletons are people who will read this thread and accuse me of oversimplifying their ideology (but, of course, not that of their opponents).
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End of conversation
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