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Michael Furburger Retweeted
Need a comedy writer? I’m your pencil.
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Trump: “WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL” Drive-Thru: “Sir, let me get my Manager”
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Trump: “Impeach me? Wrong! I’m Orange you idiots!”
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Genie: “I will grant you 3 wishes”. Trump: “Wall, wall, and wall”. Genie: “I’ll give you 4 instead”. Trump: “Deal”. Genie: “Shazam!” Trump: “...Excuse me, Mr. Genie, where is the door? Hello? It’s dark in here...” Genie: “Now it rubs the lotion on its skin”.
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Trump: “No one knows technology better than me”. *He says before replaying his DVD of Wall-E*
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WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL All Wall and no funding makes Trump a dull boy
@StephenKing The WallingThanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Nancy Pelosi: “The Chair recognizes that the President’s balls are now in my purse”. Trump’s Balls: “Without objection”.
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Trump: “How can I make today more about me?” Pence: “Well you can mak-“ Trump: “Excuse me, is your name me?”
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Now that China has landed on the Moon, Trump is placing additional Tariffs on them under U.S.M.A.C. (United States, Martians, Asians, Chancellor Palpatine from Starwars).
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Trump will be transitioning from Presidency at the White House, to Residency at the White Power retirement home, where he will have White Powder Adderall, and build a Wall with his White Wonderbread, because
Adderaallll, it’s a Wonderwaaallll
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Want the secret to great health? Spread positivity like it’s butter, and be so sweet that you give people diabetes.
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Trump has replaced every word with wall. His vocabulary is now shorter than his dong.
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Michael Furburger Retweeted
I want all my fellow Canadians to agree that we will vote for whoever is the Democratic U.S. nominee in 2020.
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I want all my fellow Canadians to agree that we will vote for whoever is the Democratic U.S. nominee in 2020.
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Taco Bell: “Head for the Border”. Trump: “Don’t even think about it!”
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When I was younger they told me to read “How to make friends and influence people” because I was too shy. Turns out the answer was to take a lot of drugs and make friends with port heads. I used the pages as rolling papers.
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If Trump makes the wall out of Taco shells, I’ll pay for the wall. It will help end poverty at the same time by providing a food source for those in need.
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Goals for 2019 -Score a goal -Learn to play a sport which involves scoring a goal -Visit Spain to score a GoooOOOAAALLLllllllalalala!!!
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Son: “Whoops, I spilled the sauce all over the counter”. Mom: “Don’t worry, Mr. Clean magic eraser will take care of that,
Mr. Clean Mr. Clean
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Popeye ate spinach. Then he smoked the spinach and ate Popeyes.
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. My Psychiatrist is aware that I call myself these things.