Michael Furburger

@FurburgerMayor

Entertainer, Writer and Toronto’s next Mayor 🇨🇦. My Psychiatrist is aware that I call myself these things.

Toronto
Joined January 2010

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  1. Retweeted
    30 Dec 2018

    Need a comedy writer? I’m your pencil.

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  2. 11 hours ago

    Trump: “WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL” Drive-Thru: “Sir, let me get my Manager”

    Undo
  3. 20 hours ago

    Trump: “Impeach me? Wrong! I’m Orange you idiots!”

    Undo
  4. Jan 3

    Genie: “I will grant you 3 wishes”. Trump: “Wall, wall, and wall”. Genie: “I’ll give you 4 instead”. Trump: “Deal”. Genie: “Shazam!” Trump: “...Excuse me, Mr. Genie, where is the door? Hello? It’s dark in here...” Genie: “Now it rubs the lotion on its skin”.

    Undo
  5. Jan 3

    Trump: “No one knows technology better than me”. *He says before replaying his DVD of Wall-E*

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  6. Jan 3

    WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL All Wall and no funding makes Trump a dull boy The Walling

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  7. Jan 3

    Nancy Pelosi: “The Chair recognizes that the President’s balls are now in my purse”. Trump’s Balls: “Without objection”.

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  8. Jan 3

    Trump: “How can I make today more about me?” Pence: “Well you can mak-“ Trump: “Excuse me, is your name me?”

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  9. Jan 3

    Now that China has landed on the Moon, Trump is placing additional Tariffs on them under U.S.M.A.C. (United States, Martians, Asians, Chancellor Palpatine from Starwars).

    Undo
  10. Jan 3

    Trump will be transitioning from Presidency at the White House, to Residency at the White Power retirement home, where he will have White Powder Adderall, and build a Wall with his White Wonderbread, because 🎵 Adderaallll, it’s a Wonderwaaallll 🎵

    Undo
  11. Jan 3

    Want the secret to great health? Spread positivity like it’s butter, and be so sweet that you give people diabetes.

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  12. Jan 2

    Trump has replaced every word with wall. His vocabulary is now shorter than his dong.

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  13. Retweeted
    Jan 1

    I want all my fellow Canadians to agree that we will vote for whoever is the Democratic U.S. nominee in 2020.

    Undo
  14. Jan 1

    I want all my fellow Canadians to agree that we will vote for whoever is the Democratic U.S. nominee in 2020.

    Undo
  15. Jan 1

    Taco Bell: “Head for the Border”. Trump: “Don’t even think about it!”

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  16. Jan 1

    When I was younger they told me to read “How to make friends and influence people” because I was too shy. Turns out the answer was to take a lot of drugs and make friends with port heads. I used the pages as rolling papers.

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  17. Jan 1

    If Trump makes the wall out of Taco shells, I’ll pay for the wall. It will help end poverty at the same time by providing a food source for those in need.

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  18. Jan 1

    Goals for 2019 -Score a goal -Learn to play a sport which involves scoring a goal -Visit Spain to score a GoooOOOAAALLLllllllalalala!!!

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  19. 31 Dec 2018

    Son: “Whoops, I spilled the sauce all over the counter”. Mom: “Don’t worry, Mr. Clean magic eraser will take care of that, 🎵 Mr. Clean Mr. Clean 🎵 Mr. Clean: “B*tch, do I look like your maid?!”

    Undo
  20. 31 Dec 2018

    Popeye ate spinach. Then he smoked the spinach and ate Popeyes.

    Undo

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