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  1. Pinned Tweet
    7 Dec 2020

    The Picture of Dorian Grey but my kids are Dorian and I'm the painting.

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  2. Mar 24

    Guess who has two thumbs and was the first negative year (and has felt it ever since)? THIS GUY

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  3. Mar 23

    I cannot stop thinking about how during the press conference after the Colorado shooting the cop there said “many people lost their lives, but even worse than that so did one police officer”

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  4. Mar 23

    I remember when all of this felt like a new thing, a shift. I remember people saying we needed to do something about it, but all they wanted to do was go after rap albums and video games and rated-R movies.

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  5. Mar 23

    Because if you constantly leave the door open to kill somebody? Eventually you'll figure out some reason somebody in your life needs to die. And statistically, you'll decide that person is you.

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  6. Mar 23
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  7. Mar 23

    Of course they pivot dishonestly around this point to saying they need the guns to defend against a tyrannical government, but the sorts of folks who collect a bunch of guns to fight a tyrannical government seem very unclear as to which things represent tyranny.

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  8. Mar 23

    Have you ever noticed that there's no GOOD way to shoot a whole bunch of people? You never hear about ten people getting shot followed up with "but they were all actively stabbing puppies at the time." It's almost like high-capacity magazines only exist to commit atrocities.

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  9. Mar 23

    Neighbor threw out a starter kit.

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  10. Mar 23

    Remember! If you can see them, they can see you! Stay ON marked trails!

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  11. Mar 17

    Excited to see the Snyder Cut. But ahead of its debut – and with the aid of a good amount of - tonight at 6pm EST I’ll do something I’ve never done: actually watch Green Lantern. Happy

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  12. Mar 17

    The best 9 min of television I've ever seen.

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  13. Mar 17
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  14. Mar 14
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  15. Mar 14

    I still can't believe we locked down in March 2020 when there were 556 confirmed cases in one day and yesterday there were almost 50,000 confirmed cases in one day and we're like "eh, the pandemic is basically over."

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  16. Mar 15
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  17. Me no cry because cookie is finished. Me smile because cookie happened.

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  18. Mar 16

    B E S U R E T O D R I N K Y O U R O V A L T I N E

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  19. Mar 16
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  20. Turns out the covid vaccine appointment site is run by my dead mother.

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  21. Mar 16

    So many of these arguments boil down to "does this human being deserve to be treated like one" and MAN do some people have trouble answering yes.

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