Cleo from 5 to 7? More like Liz from 52 to 2022
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Freddie van der Velde
@Freddievanderve
Scriptwriter, drinkspiller he / him
Freddie van der Velde’s Tweets
Jean Luc Godard died of grief. I hope he and Liz are reunited on the other side. Queen Elizabeth II was his true muse and so he followed her into the creative eternal
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Just watching the live stream of the queens coffin whilst a company fails to pay me my wages
New fun idea for someone - use old juul vapes and make them a dolls house and pretend they’re a cute little family of monoliths from space odyssey
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Hey , you don’t allow DM’s and I reached answer phone at your office. You recently acquired a company I am a freelance content writer for and my landlord was just wondering when I can expect to be paid for my work for you from the month of august? Thanks!
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Hello @Cendyn again. You don’t allow DM’s and I reached answer phone at your office. You recently acquired a company I am a freelance content writer for and my landlord was just wondering when I can expect to be paid for my work for you from the month of august? Thanks!
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Hey , you don’t allow DM’s and I reached answer phone at your office. You recently acquired a company I am a freelance content writer for and my landlord was just wondering when I can expect to be paid for my work for you from the month of august? Thanks!
Quote Tweet
Hello @Cendyn again. You don’t allow DM’s and I reached answer phone at your office. You recently acquired a company I am a freelance content writer for and my landlord was just wondering when I can expect to be paid for my work for you from the month of august? Thanks!
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Hello again. You don’t allow DM’s and I reached answer phone at your office. You recently acquired a company I am a freelance content writer for and my landlord was just wondering when I can expect to be paid for my work for you from the month of august? Thanks!
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Hello it’s me again. You don’t allow DM’s and I reached answer phone at your office. You recently acquired a company I am a freelance content writer for and my landlord was just wondering when I can expect to be paid for my work for you from the month of august? Thanks!
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Hello , you recently acquired a company I am a freelance content writer for and my landlord was just wondering when I can expect to be paid for my work for you from the month of august? Thanks!
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Hot take Michael fassbender as thin white duke era David Bowie in the biopic
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All jokes aside, fucking HELL!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for james with a bag on his face in the telegraph
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Live fast die young, play rugby on motorbikes
Five stars won’t make you rich, 85% ticket sales will only break you even. If you’re at the fringe at the mo, please be kind and help my incredibly talented, hard working and hilarious friends save up for their energy bills and therapists this winter
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Thanks @voicemaguk!
voicemag.uk/review/11494/c1
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New deep-sea species are Cambrian af. I feel Bamzooki's due a restart
Also shout to my co-writer Sam Rix who is not on this website. Quite possibly the only sane decision either of us have ever made.
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Write what you wanna see, not what you think they do.
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It was a longshot that the radiopilot I co-wrote about a UK arms dealer who decides he's the reincarnation of an Akkadian wargod insp'd by a poem from 800 BC would place at all in the BBC Scriptworks but it got us longlisted and a workshop with the inimitable John Yorke.
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Can’t wait for the sun to die
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I snuck a thermos filled with Stella unfiltered lager into a pub the other day because cost of living and now my bottle smells funny, anyone know why this is? What is it that normal Stella filters out that makes my metal, rubber bottle stopper smell sweet-tinged damp?
Cop tv pitch - masked criminal is breaking into peoples houses and swapping their regular with decaf. Yawn epidemic, families split apart and one grieving cop with a murdered nespresso machine stops at nothing. And you can bet a mocha this runs right into the heart of Nestle
Concept Pitch for Wimbledon next year, a new tournament where you play with five randomly chosen dogs let loose on the pitch and if you hurt them you’re instantly sent to prison for a decade. High stakes, cute television
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Sunak just knocked on my door asking if I needed a financial consultant but I told him I don’t have very much money to consult on because of him 😞
Just worked out that my foot is the same length as my head and the world will never be the same
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The fact that not even all the WHSmiths are “participating” in the mentos deal exemplifies just how fucking close to societal breakdown we are
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After all the horrors of 2022, it was this text that finally broke me.
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Some beautifully shot shit and well sounded people. Give it a watch and cushion that panic attack you got brewing
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Is the entirety of Majorca technically the Love Island or does the villa have a moat? Food for thought 🤔
I’ll stress she was fun then and her dad was a grade a arsehole who walked out on her family so he deserved the theft imo
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Also lol that a former girlfriend from my teen years is one of the above who I was shocked to recently learn, worked as a Tory policy advisor when the last I remember of them they were stealing money from their dad to buy mkat
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Quite funny if you go on the LinkedIn of *former* Tory mp assistants and staff who in the last year have moved to the private sector… rats on a sinking ship?
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This is a political decision. Red meat to their racist base to shore up support for the regime and for Johnson. There is no case for it, practical or moral. It is punishing the already vulnerable in a show of political muscle. Performative cruelty. Evil.
#RwandaDeportation
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I wrote about how we defeated the Home Office at Saturday's immigration raid in Peckham.
Hope there can be some strategic lessons that can be taken from our experience, for those organising in anti-raid spaces.
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i love love loved #ThatIsNotWhoIAm and i think it was an incredible example of what theatre is and can be. if anyone wants to freak out about it with me and pls dm because our brains are broken but in a good way and we need to talk about it
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On that note if anyone want to read a low budget horror screenplay about a self storage warehouse locker that preys on the mentally ill that placed in the top 12% of bbc writersroom - my DMs are open 🤪
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Anyone else send in a straight up horror screenplay to bbc writersroom? Interested to know how genre stuff tends to fare
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Selling one #primaverasound Barcelona ticket for weekend 1 at face value (£217). Can transfer via AccessTicket so will be fine for ID checks on entry etc. DM me if interested!
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When I was a teenager I thought aspiring to be a screenwriter was a really cool and trendy idea and here I am ten years later sitting in my box room, garlic bread crumbs avalanching into my belly button, google mapping how long it takes to walk from Nuneaton to Birmingham
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