< wistfully. "But why with me of all people? Your mom, your sister... They'd be a more logical company."] "Logic's subjective," [I supplied, swallowing the last spoon before tossing the empty can away.] "My mom and I, we don't really mix all that >
["So why did you come with me?" I looked up from my almost empty can and over the campfire at Troy studying me. I shrugged.] "It's what you wanted, wasn't it. The ranch was done, and so was I. I'd leave anyway." [I returned to my can. Troy squinted at me >
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< well." [Troy grinned. "That means you and I do? Is that it? You actually admit I was right all along? That's huge for you, Nicky." I smirked to myself briefly, and lit a cigarette, staring into the night. Troy's grin died out slowly, making place for a >
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< doubtful frown. "So what is it, really?"] "I told you." ["Bullshit. You told me some bullshit. Now spill the real deal." I turned to look at him again, tempted to stick with my first choice, but then thought it wasn’t going to get me anywhere near the >
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< peaceful night I would like that one to be.] "After the world flipped belly-up and my family got me back, I tried to make it work," [I said, smoke coiling out between my lips as I spoke.] "I thought I could get back in touch with who I really was, but >
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< things got out of hand every time when I felt I was close, and I did things that made me lose myself even more. I thought I had to be alone for this, but it didn't help. Nor being with people and my family did. "And since several people told me you and I >
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< had things in common, I decided to see if they were right or wrong, to test it. I just wanted to find myself again. And you seem to bring up the right challenges for me to do that." [I shrugged, taking a drag of my smoke, and smiled a little, eyeballing >
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< Troy.] "Does that satisfy you?" ["Depends. Is that true?"] "What do you think?" ["Oh, you wanna know what I think?" Troy asked.] "Sure." ["I think you led me away from your family to protect them from me. That's why you lied to them about the horde and >
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< left so they wouldn't call you out on your bullshit." I looked at him, saying nothing, then flicked the cigarette butt into the campfire. Troy started to grin again. "And you know what else? You really like it with me. We're a great team, Nicky, whether >
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< you want to admit it or not, but we are. We really are. And you didn't wanna admit that to your mom and sister who are so damn perfect and self-righteous, so you left to do something for yourself for the first fucking time. And you know what? I'm really >
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< proud of you, Nicky. I'm glad we talked." Grinning boyishly, Troy lay down and prepared to sleep, leaving me on the first watch. I stared at him for a long moment, scowling as I searched myself for any reason, any solid argument to help me believe that >
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< Troy's reading was way off. Wishful fucking thinking, was what that was.]
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