Because it's always weird thing to emotionally navigate: that pageantry for something that was once your everything but now makes you feel nothing. It's akin to the feeling I get looking at modern Simpsons and Weezer. But it's really the sad disconnect of growing up.
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This is about people who go in the other direction. This is about how men, in an effort to transcend the bounds of perceived childlike naivety, get "serious" and built new fronts out of fear, and how we build fences to mitigate our suffering. And thus lose something crucial.
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This is about how we teach boys to worship this mentality, and blame outward, to hit, and shoot, and kill - all to to just steels themselves against emotion and pain. And so those fences turn into iron walls from the mountains and mountains of pain that come with life and grief.
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And so this is ultimately a story about breaking those walls. It's the ability to let things effect you. To undo all that is toxic about yourself. To realize that to call those things "child-like" is an outrageous disservice to selfhood, because they are "human-like."
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And they are critical to our sanity and becoming a balanced person capable of expressing the entire range of emotions without fear, especially when expressing fear itself. Because the alternative is the true misery of pushing yourself away from yourself.
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So yeah, I could tell have told you this whole story and just said "hardee har har, a guy in a Chewbacca outfit gave me a hug and it made me cry."
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The key is I actually let myself for once. Because deep-down I really needed to. And an old friend was there to let me know it was okay.
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End of conversation
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