Again, literally Every Movie should start like thispic.twitter.com/TssZ3KQPIh
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Good granola I somehow forgot about the hard casting resets across the board. I thought they literally just left those characters out this time. OOF this is just iMeDiAtElY rough
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There's a lot of important things about movies, but one of them is "how we get from point A to point B." You can make movies silly. You can have jokes. You can even be playful with the story moves, but the number one way an audience turns on movies and thinks "this sucks" is...
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you just move willy nilly between scenes with no care for set-up / objectives / what characters want / some semblance of emotional logic and just rely on "plot-speak." This movie is like the textbook example of not caring about that. But the audience is MOST sensitive to it.
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Yeah, that's so much of this. In the last movie they actually cared about Introducing characters in semi-cinematic ways with anticipation and semi-clarity. Here? Every character just walks in and is like "I am Jade. Here is my lore!" And then random shit happens.
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To think how well VFX developed in the four years after jurassic park!pic.twitter.com/e0mDi56fOJ
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(this is, of course, an easy dunk. VFX is like anything else. It takes time, patience, resources, and money. This movie was cut off at the knees in so many ways - the only real thing to criticize is the hubris, no the artistry)
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This kind of commentary is also why I'm a terrible guest on "bad movie" podcasts... Real Wayne Jarvis energy over here: "I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had."
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... I've stopped doing screencap jokes because this is just depressing.
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*Strongbad voice* "It's over!" But I went down the rabbit hole with the director (who recently did Annabelle) but as a cinematographer he's had a WILD career...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_R._Leonetti …
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I keep thinking about the dude who directed this... he worked on Weird Science, Commando, Jumpin Jack Flash, The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking, Another 48 Hours - Shot: Childs Play 3, Hot Shots Part Deux, The Mask, Spy Hard, Detroit Rock City, Joe Dirt, The Scorpion King-
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Honey, Lindsay Lohan's I Know Who Killed Me, Piranha 3D, Insidious, and The Conjuring- Directed: THIS MOVIE MORTAL KOMBAT 2, The Butterfly Effect 2, Annabelle, and Tucci's The Silence?!?!? I want him to write a book about all this.
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End of conversation
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