This feels like so much of what’s going on in my head now. Thank you. 
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I can totally relate to this. Different core reason (in the UK they're trying to formulate a narrative where they can blame the left for the Capitol building attack) but the same emotions. Hope you start feeling good soon
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I think internalized anger runs alongside depression so well because our inability to fix systemic problems beyond our control both justifies resentment towards those in power and reminds us of how small and insignificant our existence is. It's pure cosmic horror.
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I've been looking for how to express that feeling, and I think you nailed the idea perfectly. Thank you for your post. Here's a palette cleanser.pic.twitter.com/hWqi5nlh5O
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Finally found some time to read this. Hope your head has managed to find a better space since you wrote it. It reminded me a bit of the most important thing I taught myself "it's okay to be sad."
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