Sometimes I get this weird feeling like people just don't understand why some people can't just get sleep, subtly implying that we just lack discipline or lamenting because we haven't figured out some magic secret that they have...
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Every time I talk about this, people just offer advice like I this is not my inescapable reality and I just haven't done x yet. All I want is to heard when I say "This is hell" and that is all. Maybe talk with other people who deal with that too. That's literally just it.
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SAME it's so hard to explain to people the frustration and loneliness that comes with this:(
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Oh, how I wish I didn't know this feel. Just the slightest little disturbance, failure to complete the routine, the vague feeling that not enough has been done, and bam, you get to see sunrise from the wrong side again and now THAT's your routine. Shit sucks.
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I was like this my entire life since puberty - always thought I just lack discipline or am too lazy or something (because that‘s what I was taught). Until I learned about the Non24 sleeping disorder and, lo and behold, that‘s actually just what it is.
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And if I stick to what I figured out what my biological rhythm is - about 26-27 hours - I sleep super stable and reliable.
End of conversation
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Saaaaaaame.
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I remember being constantly frustrated to tears when my siblings were fast asleep and I was still awake two hours later. I couldn’t fathom how they did it and what was wrong with me.
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