it never acutally caught up, I never felt rested. But what I realized is that was just a symptom, the real disorder is that my natural clock isn't 24 hours, but something like 28+ which means my body wants to be awake for like 20 hours then sleep eight, which throws so much off.
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Replying to @FilmCritHULK @uhnet
But neither of those are what cause the HORRIBLE problems where I can't fall asleep when I'm tired. To that, the other year I learned about Exploding Head Syndrome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_head_syndrome … and it was like my life finally made sense.
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Replying to @FilmCritHULK @uhnet
So many times when I was EXHAUSTED and falling asleep, my brain would stop me because of some survival instinct. It thought I was in the woods and needed to be alert or a bear would eat me! I mean not really, but that's the biological instinct catching in and it's tied to
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Replying to @FilmCritHULK @uhnet
depression / anxiety. I would spend so much of my life fighting this / being frustrated / trying to use alcohol cause it let me actually fall asleep (but didn't let me get good sleep, so it never helped in the bigger cause).
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Replying to @FilmCritHULK @uhnet
So the real breakthrough came with therapy and meditation of all things. The second I fall asleep and the Exploding Head Syndrome was kicking in, I learned to recognize it, accept it, step my brain away from this physical instinct for panic and not fixate, breathe - remind myself
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Replying to @FilmCritHULK @uhnet
its my body doing something dumb because it's just trying to protect me and that calmness would let me neutralize the fear fall asleep. So it was all psychotherapy of all things (also because that's helped with all my many other life issues). Now instead of it taking 4 attempts
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Replying to @FilmCritHULK @uhnet
to fall asleep, it takes 2 or sometimes 1. It saves me hours of not sleeping. BUT - it also totally gets off-schedule again. It's inevitable. The thing I've learned is to just let it happen. I'm going to have off-weeks where I'm screwed, so
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Replying to @FilmCritHULK @uhnet
I've learned make myself stay up as late as possible during those, constantly change my schedule, and "go around the horn" and sleep from like 6-pm to 2am- but keep getting it closer to day-time. But I also have a schedule that allows immense freedom of doing that??? I dunno.
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Replying to @FilmCritHULK @uhnet
I'm not sure any of this is a "solve" for it all, but in the end, I understand what's happening better and I'm having way more functional day time weeks and way less off-time vampire weeks. So I'll take it.
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Yup! The science isn't really locking anything down, but a lot of it has to with lights / screens, etc. When I need to distract my brain and fall asleep now I shut off all the lights and put on a low-energy podcast I like.
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Replying to @uhnet @FilmCritHULK
I haven't had a good night's sleep in almost two decades, but it's reassuring to hear that others have found their way out of it. Thank you for the thread.
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