Long detailed explanation! I've had bad experiences with various sleep drugs. Some people swear by them. But instead they just make me drowsy / my body tired, but my mind is still wired and fights back and it just makes me feel crappy and drugged / not sleepy. As for how I did it
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So many times when I was EXHAUSTED and falling asleep, my brain would stop me because of some survival instinct. It thought I was in the woods and needed to be alert or a bear would eat me! I mean not really, but that's the biological instinct catching in and it's tied to
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depression / anxiety. I would spend so much of my life fighting this / being frustrated / trying to use alcohol cause it let me actually fall asleep (but didn't let me get good sleep, so it never helped in the bigger cause).
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