So... Disassociation. This one is new.
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It's utterly surreal and bizarre. Because I've been on a long path of learning so much and getting better, then it's like my body/brain keeps throwing new harder awful things cause it's a fucking asshole that thinks its helping. YOU'RE NOT HELPING.
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Sorry you go through this.
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Sending much love. Been there, done that and... Its super tough. And I relate to the fact that even after a lot of learning, the body and the mind just end up going to even harder places. Mine turns my lessons against me somehow.
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Sorry to hear that man, I can relate
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