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FilmCritHULK's profile
Film Crit Hulk
Film Crit Hulk
Film Crit Hulk
@FilmCritHULK

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Film Crit Hulk

@FilmCritHULK

Writing essays! Patreoning. Bylines at Polygon. Observer. Vulture. Verge. EW. New Yorker. Playboy. Thrilllist. Contact: filmcrithulk@gmail.com

Avengers HQ
patreon.com/filmcrithulk
Joined May 2010

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    1. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

      Quick Thread re: sleep anxiety. And I swear to god if you try to give my advice it's an instant block. I've tried everything on this planet and seen every doctor ever. I'm just trying to explain what it feels like so it's understood. So! I knew I had to get up early today...

      34 replies 17 retweets 282 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

      And not a quick appointment or anything. It's an all day thing (that I'm looking forward to!) but the second I put it on my calendar I felt an incredible sense of creeping dread: "i'm going to have to try and get a few hours of sleep before!"

      1 reply 1 retweet 83 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

      That's it. A few hours. That's all I want. Not 8. Like, 3 will do. But the dread is so strong that I have to try and plan and make my body clock get right for it. Do every human thing I know to make me tired. I do all of them. Repeat. All of them.

      1 reply 1 retweet 80 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

      I begin my "going to sleep" process around midnight cause my clock is already a bit off. And every single time I even got close to falling asleep, my brain screams at my body "NO DONT DO IT. WAKE THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW OR YOU'LL DIE."

      5 replies 1 retweet 97 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

      Yes. This is what it does. For no reason. The second I even start to lull off my brain will think of the worst things and JOLT my body into being awake, alert, and terrified. And it happens all night and i won't sleep.

      8 replies 3 retweets 86 likes
      Show this thread
    6. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

      In order to really sleep usually? I have to make myself so insanely tired that I'm at the the point of no return. Usually being up at least 20+ hours, but that destroys the ability to have a normal life sched. That or get drunk and pass out, but that just destroys life itself.

      1 reply 2 retweets 86 likes
      Show this thread
    7. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

      And I've had to deal with this my entire life. Seriously, this has been going on since middle school. I can best function when I can sort of let it do what it does and let my life work around it. But it makes me incompatible with so much.

      1 reply 2 retweets 79 likes
      Show this thread
      Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

      I spent years in school / workplaces being fall-down exhausted. I spent years talking to doctors, medication, etc. I have to schedule so many things for the afternoon or night otherwise I'm just screwed in some way or the other. And yet...

      6:52 AM - 2 Jul 2019
      • 1 Retweet
      • 79 Likes
      • (EEK!)ristina 🐙🎃 Trenton Hoshiko - Filmmaker/Entrepreneur Coolio Stephen King Henry Chan juli Rubin Mainor Peter Townley ᴮᴱLigayaLoyola⁷ 🇵🇸🏖🧈PermissionToDance🕺🏾🧨
      2 replies 1 retweet 79 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

          Everytime I try to express "this is what my life is like," especially when I don't go into big detail, Someone says "yeah but have you tried X?" as if it's my fault for not just, like, doing something I obviously have already tried.

          4 replies 4 retweets 133 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

          There's no moral. No lesson. No ray of hope. I'm just so fucking tired of it. It's going to quietly ruin my day. As it does every time. But I mean it when I say this isn't about sympathy. It's that saying it out loud makes it feel valid, instead of a private hell for one.

          34 replies 7 retweets 235 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

          Update: zero sleep. Gotta go. I also know this is going to 100% make me sick. Which is in turn going to ruin an upcoming visit (I get sinus attacks when I get colds that completely incapacitate me). This is my always cycle and I can't do anything to stop it.

          16 replies 1 retweet 74 likes
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        5. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 2 Jul 2019

          Final update: Home. Time for earnest shot at sleep. <3 to all

          9 replies 0 retweets 137 likes
          Show this thread
        6. End of conversation

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