Episode 24: So much of the early show was Shinji's internal depression and his juxtaposition with the world. And now, the loss and grief hangs over the world itself. Everything is broken... so of course it becomes a giant fucking cosmic opera... of course.
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*still writing feverishly* Without thinking, I just tried to eat a pink D20 on my desk because I thought it was Starburst. ... I'm in a weird headspace.
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Okay I've been writing 10 hours straight and I just wrote "and that's when shit really pops off" when discussing the lies of creation, which means I'm delirious and should finally sleepy and come back to this later.
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Okay I've awoken, but you ever have that feeling where you've been working on something so intense and about such intense subject matter, that when you're ready to come back to it, you are unsure you want to dive back into that space? Yeah, that.
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First draft done. Over 24 hours I wrote 11k words about this show. This is purely because I had a lot to say. For when you have nothing to say, 800 words feels impossible.
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Finished and submitted. Will let ya know when it has a home... its a doozy.
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Long overdue NGE update: So... writing about this show re-triggered my suicidal depression. 1. This is okay! And I'm okay. 2. From the thread you can tell it plunged me into a weird space and I got almost manic trying to finish the work of analysis. But that's just because...
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3. The work was genuinely enthralling, soul-crushing, and very very necessary to talk about, but 4. After that initial sweep I found myself in a terrible place. I kept trying to come back with it and work with my editor, but I was genuinely unable to go back to that space. Until-
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5. I took my time, I got steady, and then I finally went back in and edited properly. Everyone's been so patient and great and we'll hopefully have something sooner rather than later. Because most of all...
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6. I wanted it to be worth it and reflective of the power of the show you all love so much. <3
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