Episode 16: I love the way that power levels / cables play into EVA battles. Cuz this is no "power fantasy." It understands limitations are DRAMA. Also, the evolution of the Angels is fucking awesome. The shadow monster as a pit of despair? Love when a metaphor meets a monster.
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Episode 22: The problem with most humans is that our demons are largely what drive us, but when we're young, we rarely understand that. Watching Asuka lash out, compare, challenge, hate, stamp, and all of it was inevitably going to run out of steam...
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And that's because nothing good ever comes from running from our demons. Not only does it fissure our soul, but because there's no way to even outrun them because they're irrevocably locked inside us. And thus, the only real solution is to heal.
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But that means letting light into the dark places. Letting others see and know that which is so impossibly painful and cause of the damage we do in turn. We feel this is the act of defilement. But the truth is the defilement came long, long ago.
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Episode 23: From unravelling, the real culling begins. All the sins of the father, the original sins of man, all sweeping up into retribution... because there was nowhere else to go.
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Episode 24: So much of the early show was Shinji's internal depression and his juxtaposition with the world. And now, the loss and grief hangs over the world itself. Everything is broken... so of course it becomes a giant fucking cosmic opera... of course.
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Episode 25: "Where am i supposed to go now?" And so we get the final meditative drop (oddly conveyed in what is abstract brechtian modern theater?). But really it's textbook psychology. Shinji's suicidal depression. Asuka's Attachment. Rei's (quite literal) imposter syndrome.
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Episode 26: So I'm going to be forthright. There's a lot of reason storytelling DOESN'T take this path (a dreamscape of characters telling the character things he should know as voices in their head) and it's simple: dramatically speaking, it spreads thin / feels repetitive.
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But if you can accept that and move on, then it simply becomes about the quality of ideas. And here, it is a resounding answer to the questions it's been asking from minute one of the show. For you, it is okay to be here. For all of us. To be alive.
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So if you think I'm ultimately going to knock a creator for to essentially taking the finale of his show and turning into psychological pep-talk on why he shouldn't commit suicide and is deserving of a right to exist. Well, then, you don't know me at all. Now, onto The End...
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(please stop trying to tell me the context. I'm trying to watch the story as a document).
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END OF EVANGELION: ... ....... ................ *slow clap* That might be one of the most layered, fascinating, brutally honest, utterly devastating, weirdly hopeful, but totally uncompromising works I've seen. ... Gonna need a few.
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There's no way to sum this up with a few tweets, so I'm going to go do my usual and write a big ass essay and link when I'm done. But for now, I'll try to sum it up in one damn tweet...
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From Cosmic Opera, to Cosmic Horror, to Cosmic Pop, EofEvangelion went full Koyaanisqatsi in order to recognize not just the right to exist, but the hardest part of actually doing that: living with the disgusting beast within. By accepting that crying is braver than strangling.
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*writes feverishly... stops* Oh damnit, this show is going to make me actually read the bible again, isn't it? *blows dust off it*
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*still writing feverishly* Without thinking, I just tried to eat a pink D20 on my desk because I thought it was Starburst. ... I'm in a weird headspace.
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Okay I've been writing 10 hours straight and I just wrote "and that's when shit really pops off" when discussing the lies of creation, which means I'm delirious and should finally sleepy and come back to this later.
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Okay I've awoken, but you ever have that feeling where you've been working on something so intense and about such intense subject matter, that when you're ready to come back to it, you are unsure you want to dive back into that space? Yeah, that.
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First draft done. Over 24 hours I wrote 11k words about this show. This is purely because I had a lot to say. For when you have nothing to say, 800 words feels impossible.
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Finished and submitted. Will let ya know when it has a home... its a doozy.
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Long overdue NGE update: So... writing about this show re-triggered my suicidal depression. 1. This is okay! And I'm okay. 2. From the thread you can tell it plunged me into a weird space and I got almost manic trying to finish the work of analysis. But that's just because...
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3. The work was genuinely enthralling, soul-crushing, and very very necessary to talk about, but 4. After that initial sweep I found myself in a terrible place. I kept trying to come back with it and work with my editor, but I was genuinely unable to go back to that space. Until-
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5. I took my time, I got steady, and then I finally went back in and edited properly. Everyone's been so patient and great and we'll hopefully have something sooner rather than later. Because most of all...
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6. I wanted it to be worth it and reflective of the power of the show you all love so much. <3
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End of conversation
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