It requires vulnerability, and asking for help. It requires loss and scars. And in the end it's not something you beat, it's something you heal. And yes, those who manage this have done something incredible. They deserve the world and towers of diamonds and everything...
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But those who die from cancer fought no less than anyone else. Thus to put it in terms of fight / beating is honestly an insult to their memory. But people keep doing it because the existential dread of the indiscriminate nature of cancer terrifies people, but that's what it is.
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Insult is probably too a strong word. And of course, I get wanting to support and an inspire. It's a really hard thing to find framing for because it goes in a lot of directions and speaks to a lot of different experiences. I guess I'm mostly just arguing for mindfulness of that.
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I feel like people try to match the tone & spirit of the cancer sufferer. If they say they're fighting, we cheer them on. If they're emotional, we offer support. In the case of Trebek, he came out fighting. So if the responses you see reflect that, it's because they're mirroring.
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Eh. "Fighting cancer" is a pre-written script, along with "the upbeat patient" and some others. We’re exposed to the script before we ever get the disease, and we know they constitute expectations: roles we’re supposed to perform. So a lot of times we do.
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yeah I actively avoid saying someone “lost their battle with cancer” it just feels wrong
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I have a really hard time with people talking way too litterally when talking about a figure of speech
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I feel you on this, tho also agree w the comment above, re: mirroring. Further, when it’s said someone is brave to fight hard to beat cancer, I feel for those who choose to forego treatment & not “fight.” It’s unfair to judge anyone’s personal choice regarding a terrible disease.
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I have stage 4 cancer and I do say I’m fighting cancer. It’s not literal, it’s a state of mind. I am not giving in to self-pity or feeling like a victim. The treatment is standard and not something I have control over, but I control my attitude.pic.twitter.com/wFEMlACoH6
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I fought a lot of things while in cancer treatment--nausea, getting enough calories, pain--but I never "fought" my cancer. The drugs did that. My job was to keep me well, to conserve my energy and work with my body to heal. The opposite of the hyper activity of being a "warrior"
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