Moreover, I watched the city of Boston, myopic to begin with, become irradiated. Because it's not like the chip on the shoulder magically disappears, it goes to "we earned this, we're the best" and it's like all greed, it just keeps going.
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Now... all that may seem like a lot of build-up to say "I had a strange feeling watching the pats win the superbowl last night," but it's necessary to really understanding the complexity of it all.
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Did I get any joy in watching them win at this point? Not really. Hell, even the Patriots seemed bored. That was probably the least happy superbowl team I've ever seen in my life. But that makes sense for the team that already proved everything.
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Still, last night someone asked me with genuine disdain in their voice, "How the fuck can you like this team?" And all I could really do was sit there and grimace. The truth is I don't, really.
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But it's hard to explain that "this team" means something else entirely to me. You define it by right now. But I still can't help but define it by Tony Eason, Ben Coates, and the time they beat the greatest show on turf.
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It's also hard to explain that that doofus Tom Brady has historically provided more sports-related joy than you can imagine. Do you seriously understand how odd it's been to watch a competent football team for 20 years? ABSURD. But so are his beliefs.
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And it's so hard to explain to them all the ways I've slowly let go of him and Boston sports in general over the last two decades. Just as it's hard to explain that it's still attached to lovely days gone by and deliriously happy moments.
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When people talk about our sports identities, other fandoms speak in the narrative of the right now. Because for every sports fan, the narrative always depends how far back you want to go.
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It depends on where you lived and when. It depends what you want to hold onto and what you want to forget. It depends on what you want to hope for and what you want to pretend doesn't exist.
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I wrote this thread to simply say "I remember all of this." And I carry it al with me while understanding that everyone else does not. And that's okay. Because I really can let all of it go. Time simply moves on. And I'll move on with it.
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End of conversation
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