I have the deepest, most abiding jealousy of people who can just “go to sleep” without their brain turning it into an ordeal for hours and hours. This has been my whole damn life.
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My own husband of 22 years still doesn’t understand. It’s a shitty thing to live with.
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I hear you
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Thanks for sharing this and enduring the public's default need to try to solve the problem. I think it's a testament to our discomfort with something just sucking hardcore. But not everything has happy endings.
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A former partner of mine had fatigue problems, and their only recourse were/are mitigation strategies. Finding activity levels that would induce sleep later. It's hard to not be able to help someone you care deeply about.
End of conversation
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I'm not as bad as you, but I'm in a cycle where I find it almost impossible not to wake up at 2-3am, no matter how late I go to bed. I can manage quite well on about 6 hours sleep, so I *have* to try to go to bed at 8-9pm, which means I have almost no social life.
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Gotta say it does help knowing you’re not the only one though. Thanks for sharing.

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My whole life too. The alarm goes off and you think you haven’t slept, but you must have because miring came too fast or your dead relatives visited or whatever, and you just want to go back to bed but you can’t but sometimes you do anyway …
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Nights like that, I only hope I don't have anything going on the next day that would be affected badly.
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I get it, I believe you.
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I do get that. Sometimes I cross my legs and imagine myself pulling my body up a ladder one rung at a time. The complications that arise amuse me enough to keep me from being miserable. It doesn't always work.
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