I have the deepest, most abiding jealousy of people who can just “go to sleep” without their brain turning it into an ordeal for hours and hours. This has been my whole damn life.
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Which just creates more spirals. Eventually this system crashes, depression and anxiety arrive and become diagnosed later in life, and exacerbate said system. Now, the nuclear bomb is when insomnia gets in the mix and it does happen when all of this sort of goes wild
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And it basically becomes a nightmare of fuzzy waking dream. I've had this on and off throughout life. I've seen doctors. I've tried everything. Please please please don't tell me about how maybe there's some magical thing I'm missing. I've been through this so so so many times.
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This is something I understand better than anyone else possibly could about me. The point of this whole shebang, is to reach out to people who are experiencing it / something like it or know people who are, and say "I get it." <3
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End of conversation
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Oh, hello there, me.
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