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FilmCritHULK's profile
Film Crit Hulk
Film Crit Hulk
Film Crit Hulk
@FilmCritHULK

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Film Crit Hulk

@FilmCritHULK

Writing essays! Patreoning. Bylines at Polygon. Observer. Vulture. Verge. EW. New Yorker. Playboy. Thrilllist. Contact: filmcrithulk@gmail.com

Avengers HQ
patreon.com/filmcrithulk
Joined May 2010

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    Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 26 Aug 2018

    Thread Re: Anxiety - ah, depression's tricky pal. For years, I was able to take the stresses of life. Anxiousness was just a human emotion. A little buzz. Then I got to know people who had anxiety and I learned so damn much. But you still don't really understand it. You can't.

    10:19 AM - 26 Aug 2018
    • 87 Retweets
    • 439 Likes
    • EKJ (she/her) jacob, when the walls fell chris 💉 x 2 emily benita / she, her Eli Courtwright Grace Jacobs Mirraph Po-Shin Chao Darrick “Too Lazy to Come Up with a Nickname” Ward
    13 replies 87 retweets 439 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 26 Aug 2018

        Not until you start experiencing it. Which I have the last couple years. This morning I had a full-on panic attack. It started with waking up earlier than I thought. I got a glass of water and tried going back to bed. Then...

        3 replies 5 retweets 93 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 26 Aug 2018

        I couldn't sleep. My heart started racing. To the point it was going to leap out of my fucking chest. Sweating. Crying. Nausea. Every single thing in my life was wrong, and will go wrong. Something horrible was going to happen. Or happening now.

        2 replies 5 retweets 95 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 26 Aug 2018

        What triggered it? Easy. I have lunch plans today and I still feel kind of full. Seriously, that's it. This boring, insipid, completely normal life detail sent my stupid body into a system-wide panic. And sometimes it takes NOTHING.

        3 replies 6 retweets 120 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 26 Aug 2018

        That's the nature of these things. Traumas, even traumas of your own creation, just throw a wrench into your operating system. They fuck up a perfectly normal functioning thing. And some people have this happen since birth. They only know that reality.

        2 replies 7 retweets 100 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 26 Aug 2018

        And to admit "i sometimes don't feel like a functioning person," to a society that functions very, very differently, is fucking terrifying. The shame of f eeling different and letting people down and being a bother on top of the horrible feeling itself.

        2 replies 16 retweets 155 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 26 Aug 2018

        I understand wanting to hide the bad moments of mental health issues. People sure talk about empathy, but they have no idea what to do with it. And it is terrifying to be seen as "unreliable" that people often go through life wage a secret battle amidst the functioning.

        2 replies 10 retweets 138 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Film Crit Hulk‏ @FilmCritHULK 26 Aug 2018

        So I write words about it. It's all I know how to do, really. To name it. Recognize it. And remove its overwhelming unknowability. But ultimately, all I have is insane, outrageous, incalculable empathy for the people who experience it. <3

        17 replies 8 retweets 205 likes
        Show this thread
      9. End of conversation
      1. Nura Creed‏ @nurawriter 26 Aug 2018
        Replying to @FilmCritHULK

        Thanks for taking about it, Hulk. Honestly your body acts on its own, even if nothing is wrong and some mornings are worse than others. It aches so much.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Heather Jochens‏ @heatherjochens 26 Aug 2018
        Replying to @FilmCritHULK

        All of this. One incident I remember is the weekend I had a panic attack. Any time I tried to go to sleep, it was like I couldn't breathe. I went for 3 days without adequate sleep and was horrified because I didn't know what was going on.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Heather Jochens‏ @heatherjochens 26 Aug 2018
        Replying to @heatherjochens @FilmCritHULK

        Then I learned what they were from someone I knew who also told me how to deal with them. All it took was focusing on my breathing. I've had anxiety for quite some time and it wasn't until recent years that I learned to adequately deal with it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      4. End of conversation

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