Hi. I want to convey to you something very important. I know why you feel that way. But it is absolutely 100% no way no how in anyway selfish. If anything, the terrifying fact of suicide is it is an act of self-care in the face of forces you cannot even comprehend.
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It is a slap in the face to everything I have experienced. Everything I am trying to fight. I do not "want" to commit suicide. But the forces pulling are so far beyond want and your understanding. And to say this? To say what you have?
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Is the final, most selfish indignity that spits on my very personhood. And so. Know this. This is a teachable moment. A moment where you can get out of your own brain and genuinely understand that "selfishness" is a word that belongs nowhere near this.
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