Firestarter.
- Neil Warnock feat. Cardiff City.
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FPL Partridge
@FPL_Partridge
Yeah? Against Karate? All views my own unless they're David Brent's 
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FPLPartridge@gmail.com
Social Media Manager FPLPartridge@gmail.comJoined November 2017
FPL Partridge’s posts
David Jones: “So Gary, heads or tails?”
Gary Neville: “Tails”
Jamie Carragher: “YOU’D GO TAILS OVER HEADS?!”
When the Brazilian authorities turn up at Premier League grounds this weekend..
Add new manager
*Monaco*
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Switch user *Wolves*
Search *Joao Moutinho*
Confirm £5m bid
Switch user *Monaco*
Accept bid
..
Confirm transfer
Retire from Monaco and football
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BREAKING: @Wolves agree £5m fee with Monaco for Joao Moutinho - Sky sources. #SSN
After the failure of the task, Project Manager Jose Mourinho is called into the Manchester United boardroom by
Not sure what she expects him to do, but it’s worth a try I suppose.
The, “I completely forgot he ever played for them”, game.
I’ll start...
Ben Foster: Man Utd
Juventus must be kicking themselves for spending £100m on Ronaldo when they could have had Richarlison and Sigurdsson.
Just catching up on the highlights from Man Utd vs West Brom.
What the rest of the world might not realise is that we can’t stand these people either.
From
Urban Pictures
Tarkowski "You've signed Ben Gibson boss, who's going to be dropped?"
Dyche "You probably"
Tarkowski "Me!"
Dyche "No, Mee is playing"
Mee "You're playing?!
Dyche "No you are"
Tarkowski "Who with?"
Dyche "It's Mee and Gibson"
Mee "You and Gibson?"
It's the last thing you expect to find when you come into work in the morning.
The annoying thing about owning Mitrovic is that he won’t get to play against Fulham.
Daniel James has been clattered twice with no foul given and protests when the game was stopped.
Origi gets a tap on the calf and everyone is up in arms.
It’s a funny old game.
- “You gonna warm up first?”
“Nah, I’ll warm up during the celebration”
Replying to
Doctor: “What seems to be the problem?”
“It’s my ankle”
Doctor: “Ok, if you remove all of your clothes and lie on the bed, I’ll take a look”
Following news of Toby Alderweireld's imminent transfer to Man Utd.
Spurs youngster Toby Alderweireld-Peters has been promoted to the first team.
Yes, at 36 years old Cristiano Ronaldo is a short term fix, but he’ll also be a role model for the younger lads…Cavani, Matic etc.
If Phil Foden keeps playing well for England he might get a call up for Manchester City.
10m FPL managers, wow!
[I’ve hidden my rank and I won’t be revealing it out of respect for other managers]
Benteke starting to hit form now, scoring for the second year in a row.
You what? No Sterling?
You fucking idiot, Pep! You total fucking idiot! That was YOUR job, you fucking moron! You cretin! YOU'RE A FUCKHEAD! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! A FUCKING SHITHEAD!
Replying to
- “Once the crowd formed, you had to go into the building and save the children didn’t you?”
“Yes and I’m really glad we got those kids to safety”
- “Do you regret starting the fire in the first place?”
“Look, all I’ll say is, I’m really glad to be able to help those kids”
If you’ve failed your A-levels, don’t panic.
Pablo Escobar didn’t have any A-levels, and he went on to be one of the richest people on the planet, running a successful import-export business.
Pogba: “Morning boss, let’s have a good training session”
Mourinho: “I will not be dictated to by you Paul. Do not tell me how to conduct my own training session”
Over the last two season James Rodríguez has registered just 4 assists, but you have to remember he was only playing alongside Benzema and Lewandowski.
I’d expect to see those numbers improve once he starts playing with Calvert-Lewin and Richarlison.
FACT OF THE DAY:
No team has ever retained the title in the EFL Championship.
Just goes to show how fiercely competitive the league is!
I own Mitrovic and Ramsdale.
How on earth have I come out of this with no points?
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| PENALTY MISS - Aleksandar Mitrovic
| PENALTY SAVE - none
Sheffield United 0-0 Fulham 
#FPL #FantasyPL #FFScout #GW5 #SHUFUL
I didn’t watch the World Cup so I’m not really sure who purple hair is or why the kid wants her autograph. She’s evidently quite aware of her own importance though.
I’ve not even considered Mo Salah as captain this week.
Here’s why:
• Newcastle will set up to defend.
• Liverpool are our performing their xG.
• He’s been on Twitter a lot lately, which could cause mental fatigue.
• I don’t own Mo Salah.
"If that nasty man from City bothers you again next season, you tell me, ok"
#MUNWBA
Arnautovic: “From a young age it was always a dream of mine to play in the Chinese League.
As a child, playing football on the streets of Austria, I would often try to imitate my idols, Li Bing, Fan Zhiyi and Su Maozhen.
I hope to one day follow in their footsteps”
And in that short space of time, Solskjaer has equalled Jurgen Klopp’s trophy haul in his entire time at a Liverpool.
Magnus Carlsen wildcarded this week and doesn’t own Bruno Fernandes.
Stick to chess mate this is big boy shit.
Replying to
Have you been injured at work?
Punched by a heavyweight boxer whilst wearing a mascot costume?
Contact Claims Direct.
There’s a 0% chance that Ronaldo plays in GW17, but a 50% Martial does.
I like those odds. Might be worth a punt.
Only the Swiss national team have had worse luck with injuries than Man Utd.
Gameweek 1 overall rank: 1.1m
Gameweek 19 overall rank: 1m
Not bad when you consider I’ve only invested around 1000 hours.
Potential brace for Christensen in GW10
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Breaking: Andreas Christensen has problems with his teeth. Cesar Azpilicueta has a shoulder injury. N'Golo Kante not 100% fit. Ruben Loftus-Cheek has a minor injury.
[via iG: cfcnewspage]
Replying to
Congratulations on going into someone else’s country, disrespecting them and embarrassing us.
Vardy captain, alongside Chillwell and Tielemans!
Could this finally be the gameweek where my luck turns!
Probably not.
I don’t own any of them, but you never know.
Congratulations to everyone not on twitter, who had no idea Salah was going to be benched.
You ate a tin of sardines once, fifteen years ago.
Your mates still call you..
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Goal - SARR
Assist - DEENEY
Watford 2-0 Liverpool (60 mins)
#FPL #WATLIV
Hi I spent ages putting this video together. It would mean a lot to me if you could share it with your followers and see which goal is their favourite!
Looks like Pukki isn’t going to hit the 45 goals he was projected to score after his first 5 games. Shame.
Something to remember this season.
Before you use your wildcard, check on Twitter to make sure it’s ok.
Don’t make the same mistake I made by using your brain to create your own strategy.
“AND EVERYONE SAID SALAH COULD BE RESTED, BUT I MADE HIM MY #FPL CAPTAIN. THE THING IS, YOU’VE GOT TO LOOK AT HIS UNDERLYING STATS RATHER THAN HIS RETURNS”
‘Maroon 5’
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Can’t wait for Leicester score 5 goals in their new away kit and I can sell the headline “Maroon 5” to a tabloid newspaper.
I’m not worried about Bruno Fernandes hauling tonight. Sheffield United have got Aaron Ramsdale and I can’t see him being beaten.
BREAKING NEWS: Billionaire tells people not to vote for the party trying to close the wealth divide.
🗣 Twitter: "In past seasons, you’ve finished in the top 10k.”
🗣 Me: "Same coach, different players."
People criticise this Man Utd side, but they’re only ten or eleven players away from challenging for the title again in my opinion.
Typical!
I owned Dele Alli in 2016...of course, I sold him just three years before his goal 🤦🏻♂️
If you’re playing Euro 2020 fantasy, target Switzerland.
According to the UEFA website most of their team are injured.
I’ve noticed a lot of people thinking of putting Aubameyang in their team.
Word of warning, I’ve just been looking at the stats and one piece of data immediately jumped out at me. It’s worth keeping in mind..
If you’re a Man Utd fan and you aren’t enthusiastic about signing Daniel James, try pronouncing it Ha-mez.
That should do the trick.
Cristiano Ronaldo is a ‘wait and see’ for me.
I’ll wait and see if he signs, then I’ll get him straight in.
If Pukki can’t score in this game he should be removed from FPL altogether.
So many managers seem to be selling players right before they score.
That’s the worst time to sell them imo.
When you vice captained Salah..
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Yerry Mina seems to have shaved some lines of hair from the back of his head, and stuck them on Calvert-Lewin.
Nothing to see here.
Just Christian Benteke celebrating a pre season goal by performing a knee slide in front of an empty stand.
Nicely spotted by
“Ok, here’s what we’re going to do.
You score immediately after people sell you and I’ll get sent off just before a double gameweek.”
If Harry Kane can score a hat trick against Bulgaria, imagine what he’ll do when he plays a team like Newcastle.
When Rashford owners find out he’s injured and they can downgrade him to Greenwood & afford Salah/Mane.
21 years old
A 94th minute penalty to decide whether your team goes out, or goes through to the next round
Against a legendary goalkeeper who made his international debut 2 days before you were born.
Incredible composure from Rashford. twitter.com/FoxesMedia3/st
This Tweet is unavailable.
That yellow card means that, if England lose, Harry Maguire will miss the final.
Incredibly, just 3 points separate the top and bottom of the Premier League.
Amazing!
The most competitive league in the world!
When Calvert-Lewin scores and I don’t own him because he missed pre season..
You Vardy owners are little slugs!
Little slugs with no personality!
