FML.
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Leonard H. McCoy
@FMLmccoy
Godammit, Jim.
USS EnterpriseJoined May 2009
Leonard H. McCoy’s Tweets
I'm a doctor, not a pod racer.
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Well, at least I won't have to die alone, Sp--Spock?!?
...
FML.
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Looks like it's my day, sigh.
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Somebody made a nice feature on me and the first comment is about how I'm a sexist racist FML
imgur.com/gallery/rELbo
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I literally bring Kirk back from the dead but when he wakes from his coma he goes and thanks WHO?! FML.
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Bought Kirk a very expensive pair of antique glasses for his birthday. He travels back to 1980s San Francisco and immediately pawns them.FML
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Just heard about 's mission. Man, and I thought I had it bad... Here– have a mint julep on me, Probe.
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Join Starfleet they said, see the universe they said, so I joined- "we weren't talking to you" they said. FML
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No! It's not a goddamned hairpiece! FML! Though Captain James T "Gossip" over there sure would know a thing or two about them...
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I can reconstruct shattered bones and failing organs but this whole 'make friends' thing still seems to elude me. FML
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--Was that a black hole? Wait....what?! SIX MONTHS!?! fml.
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Why is it the second I leave to check lab results I hear Spock & Jim in the other room playing piano and waltzing with a beautiful girl? FML
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Shore leave took longer than expected... the ship left without me. It took them three days to realize and turn around. FML
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I'm on shore leave for the week. Lets see if anybody notices...
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Tried to help negotiate with the Ambassador of Gideon but he just pretended I was static. Brings back memories of high school. FML
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Why is it when Kirk makes women cry they invite him to their bed.. Last time I made a woman cry she invited me to a malpractice hearing. FML
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Kirk on 24th century medicine: http://yfrog.com/5epicture1odcp - FML.
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Vian intellectuals decided that the best way to teach another race about sharing and compassion was to have everybody watch me die. FML
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Tried to help a pregnant woman in pain. Instead, I get a rock to the head and slapped with child support because she says it's mine. FML
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That green-blooded son-of-a-bitch...! FML
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Kirk chewed me out for being sentimental & old fashioned. Yes, lectured on women by Jim "O-God-It's-Back-Make-The-Burning-Stop" Kirk. FML
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Captain goes missing in space. His last orders to me? Be nice to Spock and "don't be such a dick, in general." FML
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Beautiful lady asked me if I had a woman in my life. All those spats with Spock and emotional talks with Kirk- I had to pause and think. FML
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Told Kirk I had a terminal illness and only a year to live. First thing he did was call up Starfleet to request my immediate replacement.FML
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Mistakenly walked in on Kirk 'singing.' FML
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Apparently the whole ship was taken over by demonic children. I wouldn't know, I guess even evil alien overlords dont think I'm worth it.FML
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Psychotic teen who is a danger to everyone he comes in contact with asks about the tingly changes in his body. Kirk says: go ask McCoy. FML
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When Kahn-ut-tu doctors heal the sick, their patients repay them w/ sex. My patients have never had the decency to even make out with me.FTS
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Always secretly dreamed I'd fit in w/ the cowboys as a simple country doctor. Turns out they see me better as 'simple target practice.' FML
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Spock finally compliments me on my ingenuity and the conditions on this damned fake cowboy planet render my hard work useless. FML
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Had a dream a beautiful woman was on top of me, my fingers combing through her hair. Woke up to find tribbles on my bed. FML
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'Think I'd be used to it by now but it still hurts when aliens and women alike pick your friends over you for 'most perfect specimen.' FML
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Risked my life by sticking my head in some crazy alien Teacher machine and all I got back was this loudmouth vulcan. FML
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Spock managed to get his brain stolen. When I told Kirk that was medically impossible, he called me impossibly useless and stormed out. FML
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Kirk performs BS CPR on a kid, is awarded a medal and gets called a god. 25 years of med school and all I got was student loans. FML
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Got berated by Jim over the effects of exposing Spock's eyes to full sunlight. Had just warned him of those before he made me to do it. FML
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Called Spock out on being emotionally frustrated. He launched into a ten minute reasoning of why my face is logically unappealing. FML
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Tried to make good w/ Spock but he just called me irritating and incompetent. Now what am I gonna do with all of these apology tribbles? FML
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