Evan J'daté Kessler

@EvanJKessler

Author of Raisins are Good for You: A Child's Guide to Eating A Raisin-Only Diet.

Los Angeles, CA
thebestpersonontheinternet.com
Joined April 2008
1,233 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    31 Jul 2013

    My life would be great if I had been making good decisions this whole time.

    4 replies 106 retweets 298 likes
  2. Retweeted
    12 hours ago

    right.

    I promise you John McCain will be clear-eyed and sharp as a tack when he votes yes to repeal our health insurance.
    10 replies 473 retweets 1,936 likes
  3. 11 hours ago
    Replying to

    I also know 10 Downing Street is the Prime Minister's residence.

    2 replies 12 likes
  4. 11 hours ago

    I don't know much about U.K. politics, but I know Theresa May is sitting at 10 Downing Street listening to "Candle in the Wind" on repeat.

    1 reply 2 retweets 16 likes
  5. Retweeted
    11 hours ago

    being crafted behind our backs:

    2:56
    "Will there be a hearing on the health care proposal?" Senator asked today in the Finance Cmte. You should watch:
    24 retweets 36 likes
  6. Retweeted
    17 hours ago

    The 84% of Americans who oppose Medicaid cuts must let their senators know *right now* Go to:

    Tom Price picked a good day to testify about his extremely unpopular agenda. Only 12% support Medicaid cuts.
    2 replies 377 retweets 297 likes
  7. 18 hours ago

    This pillow feels like a metaphor for my life right now.

    4 likes
  8. 19 hours ago
    Replying to

    *9 months from now "It's a boy! We named him Comey Hentai Kessler!"

    1 reply 1 retweet 5 likes
  9. 19 hours ago
    Replying to

    Seriously considering launching this as my first podcast.

    2 replies 8 likes
  10. Retweeted
    20 hours ago

    I like our new system of checks & balances where Congress can threaten to take away our healthcare, but we can call them & say "please dont"

    209 retweets 877 likes
  11. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    I'm surprised Trump didn't slip Comey a $50-bill while telling Comey he hoped he could let the investigation go.

    1 retweet 7 likes
  12. 20 hours ago
    Replying to

    If anyone wants to make a baby with me, my DMs, as always, are open.

    2 replies 8 likes
  13. 20 hours ago

    Think about all the babies being conceived today.

    1 reply 16 likes
  14. 20 hours ago

    GOP: Well, Obama obstructed obstruction of justice by hiring James Comey! That's double obstruction!!! OBAMA!!!

    5 likes
  15. 20 hours ago

    What time is the Comey hearing?

    7 likes
  16. Retweeted
    21 hours ago

    Question for Trump: if you believe Comey is lying, why don't you tell us your version of the conversation under oath like he did?

    746 replies 7,254 retweets 22,642 likes
  17. 22 hours ago
    Replying to

    *calls my local government representative "Yes, I demand a special prosecutor to investigate tentacle porn."

    1 reply 2 likes
  18. 22 hours ago

    *gathers wife and kids in the living room for some quality family time "Let me tell you about the existence of tentacle porn."

    1 reply 1 retweet 11 likes
  19. 22 hours ago

    I like when reporters try to ask questions even when it's clearly stated before that the person speaking won't be answering questions.

    4 likes
  20. 22 hours ago

    Kasowitz's statement on Comey's testimony is like a movie review blurb that reads "It...was...a...good...movie!"

    2 likes
  21. Retweeted
    23 hours ago

    Trump MADE HIS PRESS SECRETARY lie about the size of his inauguration crowd. But he's not a liar, just new to this.

    4 replies 154 retweets 389 likes

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