When I get to Berlin, I'm looking forward to biking and public transit instead of driving everywhere. I think I'll start taking a ballet class again to get in shape. I can't wait to really push my language skills. I just can't wait to be unburdened from this place.
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But it's gotten too heavy. Too much trauma. The longer I spend here the worse my mental health gets. I am living in a constant state of vigilance due to the harassment and threats.
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So I guess this thread is me saying that I'm moving to Berlin in the near future. I won't say precisely when. But the plans are set. And it is the saddest, most difficult thing I'll have ever done. But also it's something that I can look forward to, because finally I can heal.
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I feel like I am abandoning so much. But I also know I won't make it if I stay, and my suffering is preventing me from being at my best. There is so much more I can contribute if I'm well.
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Imagine what I can do when my soul isn't being held together with duct tape and popsicle sticks. I'm excited.
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But I am going to miss so many people. I am giving up so much. This is the toll of Nazi harassment. I am literally being harassed out of the country.
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End of conversation
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