So while we're talking Facebook a sec, I wanna tell a story about how Facebook helped facilitate my ongoing trauma post-August 2017.
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Like most people, I used Facebook to keep in touch with friends, largely asynchronously. I rarely established friendships there, but would add people who I met through various other communities, such as the queer tech community, the activism community, or my hockey community.
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I'm not exactly a hard-to-find person, but very few of my old friends use Twitter or follow me or know really a lot about what I've done.
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In the weeks after what happened in Charlottesville in August, I did not receive a single call from any of my old friends asking if I was OK, checking in, seeing if there was anything they could do. Not one.
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My mental health in those weeks was bad. Really bad. Acute trauma and anxiety and depression from the death of Heather Heyer to the grievous injuries of my friends to the ongoing legal saga was taking its toll. And then Spencer came back. And then I got swatted.
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It didn't come.
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The only people coming to help were the same people who were in my boat: people stretched to their limits, pouring all their energy into caring for others instead of themselves, being the glue of the community. We were doing it all alone here. We still are.
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My best friend from high school, who stood by me at my wedding, never called.
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Ultimately, the pain of not hearing from them was too great, so I removed them, effectively severing those ties.
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And now, after those 6 months, I have but to wonder if they ever saw those pleas at all. Did they even know? Or did Facebook's algorithm decide to bury my posts and keep them away from their eyes?
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