I was so proud of that pin and utterly terrified to display it.
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I'd known privately I was queer forever. As a kid I knew I wanted to be a girl, and maybe 12 or 13 I realized I was attracted to boys, too.
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But I'd kept that quiet for as long as I could. It wasn't until that friend gave me safety that I could be more open, if not out.
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When I went back to RPI to finish my undergrad, I resolved to join the Pride org. But I was too afraid to approach their booth.
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That was in 2007. That was even after I had started presenting femme in public.
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As it turns out it's a lot harder to engage with people about queerness than you think. I didn't openly come out as bi till 2012 or 2013.
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Most of you see me as an unapologetically loud queer trans person. What you don't see is the decades long path getting here.
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I still have that rainbow pin, I think. It serves as a reminder of the power of unconditional acceptance.
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At every pride parade, someone is receiving their first rainbow flag and they're feeling safe and proud to hold it, even though it's scary.
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And even though a thousand other people are carrying them, too. It matters that they are. This is why pride matters to all queer people.
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For a queer person, having pride is a willful act, not a guarantee. Allies will never understand this truly. It's not just representation.
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It's about never letting go of that feeling when someone truly, unquestionably, accepts you for who you are.
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Never take it off. Started that a month ago. It's started my coming out. It's my first token of pride. I'm 25 & only considering coming out
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SO knows I'm queer, and my therapist. But that's basically it. Few more know I'm bi/gay, but none that I'm nonninary.




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