Just saw a photo of myself, barefoot in a park carrying a protest banner and being a woman and thought, 'well this turned out unexpectedly.'
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I got detained in Troy, NY and had my car searched against my consent when I was 22. My eyes were bloodshot from allergies.
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Cops said I looked high. They found nothing and let me go. Again, privilege.
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A few months later, I got pulled over for "swerving." Cop tapped on my driver side window with his gun, or maybe a taser.
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My "swerve" was an attempt to merge and then I stopped when I saw the car in my blind spot. Totally gun worthy.
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All of these things were terrifying but I buried my terror under justifications that this was OK. I was, like many, a tool of authority.
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I'm glad I got over that.
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It takes enormous resources to go from that still inner voice feeling something is wrong, to your whole being engaged in righting the wrong.
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Some say “you’re so brave”. But it’s everything else too — love, privilege, & the fierce refusal of that still small voice to be killed
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