Zero chance I get through this alterconf talk without tears. Too much that's too personal and still very raw.
-
-
So I took what he said to heart. I took myself off the anti-seizure meds, actually anti-psychotics.
-
And I doubled down on my course load. I earned some 140+ credits in 7 semesters there. And then I almost worked myself literally to death.
-
I had developed a thyroid disorder, my resting heart rate was 140 bpm. I lived like this for 2 years because I only had to sleep 5 nights/wk
-
All because I felt that my success and my masculinity hung on this one statement about being strong so I had to do this.
-
I had a disability, but sought no accomodations. Instead I tried to bury it, pretend it didn't exist. I thrived off people being impressed.
-
And when I nearly died and took 3 years off, I didn't feel normal, I felt weak. I felt like a failure. And I slipped into a deep depression.
-
That one comment took years from me. It pushed back my transition by probably half a decade. It stole all of my 20s.
-
I want it to be okay to be weak. I want it to be ok to not have to play the goddamn hero. I don't want to be strong. I want to be at peace.
- 10 more replies
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.