in honor of pride month, here is a story of the most ridiculously gay thing i ever did long before i realized i was bisexual. it starts with a girl in my neighborhood friend group coming out as a lesbian when we were all 11-12.
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homophobia being relatively typical at the time, the girls in our group were immediately like "GROSS" and, middle school being middle school, they decided we should all vote on whether or not we should still be friends with this, gasp, lesbian.
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another girl who we'll call alexa and i voted "YES WE SHOULD STILL BE FRIENDS WITH HER???" but we were outnumbered, so clearly we had to do something
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(of course, looking back, the obvious move should have been to start a more powerful, cooler, gayer girl gang and announce ourselves as their nemeses, but i was a social climbing people pleaser who just wanted everyone to get along)
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so what does 12-year-old bona fide heterosexual me suggest? OBVIOUSLY i decide that the only solution is to pretend alexa and i are girlfriends, because they can't kick THREE of us out of the group for being lesbians, that'd be absurd!!
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so we do that. and miraculously, the dissenting homophobes of the group begrudgingly decide the group can stay intact as alexa and i run around smugly holding hands and calling each other baby.
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BUT DID WE STOP THERE? no we did not. we decided we had to be BELIEVABLE girlfriends. this included: -strategically waiting around for opportunities to be walked in on kissing -complimenting each other's asses in public -talking emphatically about how much we loved girls
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eventually this devolved into alexa and i making out when it was only the two of us. like, A LOT. i forget our logic. but it was for sure ONLY in the spirit of being gal pals, ~just in case~, nothing gay at all
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anyway, it somehow took me another 7 years to realize i was bisexual and i don't know where alexa is now, but i hope she's still happy and making out with girls. the end. happy pride.
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this is the best and most pure story
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