I lit a candle 
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I farted in the hot tub.
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You peeped.

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Don’t judge me.

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I don’t judge one bit, but my mom taught me never to use the ‘f’ word and called it ‘peeping.’ I guess she thought it might make it more innocent somehow, less repugnant. 
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when republicans genuinely want something - e.g., tax cuts, increased police powers - they have no problem in ramming legislation through. it's only when they don't actually care about something that they resort to 'thoughts and prayers.'
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I’m so sick of, ‘thoughts and prayers’ from people who don’t give a damn about praying for somebody else. And damn sure don’t think about us.
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I’m thinking about you, buddy.

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Trust me, the humor is what has kept us all afloat. I don’t know what I would have done without it during this shit show.
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Yeah, I just don’t have enough of it at times.
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Me neither. I’m exhausted by this political awareness. I’d love to be back in my Obama bubble where I trusted my President to handle the world for me.
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Yes. Where we didn’t have to. Pay. Close. Attention. EVERYDAY
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Ooooooohhhh... you've just said my favorite tweet of the day...
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My “thoughts and prayers” go to the those who ranted and cheered as they were promised (and believed) Mexico was going to PAY for the Trump Wall! Where are these dolts now??
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