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EbThen's profile
Eb
Eb
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@EbThen

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Eb

@EbThen

Accidental philosopher. Freelance educator. Autistic. Disabled. Bi. Grey-ace. Demi-aro. Filipino-USian. Designer. They/Them @sjwishlists/@modeldeviance

Unceded Haudenosaunee, Miami, Potawatomi land
ebebebeb.com/giddythings
Joined January 2013

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    1. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017

      Somehow "InCel" became a topic on Autistic Twitter again and I'm just rolling my eyes like COME THE FUCK ON.

      2 replies 11 retweets 99 likes
      Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017

      If you're not aware, "InCel" = Involuntary Celibacy, and it's a thing a lot of (generally white cishet) Autistic men complain about.

      10:20 AM - 18 May 2017
      • 11 Retweets
      • 61 Likes
      • Amanda Draper ルネー ♪ ♠️🏳️‍🌈🍌 InordinateFondness 🌈 Kate is now a ghost 👻 ♿🌈 Julia Rose the Snarky Autistic Witch Huey Huit Andrew Parsons ButterKatt Idgaf
      2 replies 11 retweets 61 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          I get it. We're not all ace-spectrum and sexual health is important. I'm not gonna say, "Come on, you don't NEED sex."

          1 reply 7 retweets 62 likes
        3. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          Some people do. But 1. Masturbation is an option. 2. You are not owed or guaranteed physical or emotional intimacy with anyone.

          1 reply 8 retweets 127 likes
        4. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          3. Paying sex workers is an option, too. It's their job to help provide sexual release if that's a thing you need.

          2 replies 6 retweets 86 likes
        5. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          4. Generally, if you're a man and ppl aren't sexually/romantically interested in you, it's not because you're Autistic.

          2 replies 16 retweets 115 likes
        6. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          5. Yes, I KNOW ableism is a thing and some people do have weird ideas about being in relationships with Autistic ppl.

          1 reply 9 retweets 83 likes
        7. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          6. Based on what I know as an Autistic woman-ish person abt Autistic men, tho, it's not that you're Autistic, it's that you're a shit.

          3 replies 13 retweets 143 likes
        8. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          7. It's that you've internalized a lot of toxic masculinity and you're performing that and people tend to want to avoid that.

          4 replies 10 retweets 134 likes
        9. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          8. As I have discussed before, being Autistic does not negate all of your other privilege or absolve you of reckoning with it.

          1 reply 13 retweets 113 likes
        10. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          9. Again, as discussed before, I'm pretty sure that Autistic boys get taught toxic masculinity more intensively as part of "normalization."

          2 replies 20 retweets 128 likes
        11. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          10. That's not to say that all Autistic men are toxic and no Autistic men can be good relationship partners bc, well, obviously, but also.

          1 reply 8 retweets 72 likes
        12. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          11. There are plenty of books and advice out there that treats Autistic men being abusive to their partners as just expected and normative.

          2 replies 11 retweets 79 likes
        13. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          12. It is NOT. Autistic men are no more destined to be abusive than other people. It is a learned behavior and it can be corrected.

          1 reply 17 retweets 111 likes
        14. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          13. One of the first steps to not being a misogynistic entitled shit is to recognize that you are not entitled to intimacy with anyone.

          2 replies 32 retweets 161 likes
        15. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          14. Stop looking at people you want to have sex with who aren't having sex with you as ppl withholding something you are owed.

          2 replies 51 retweets 202 likes
        16. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          15. Also, I know it's possible to be an Autistic man and not be a shit bc I know Autistic men who aren't shits.

          2 replies 7 retweets 96 likes
        17. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          16. It requires intentionally dealing with your privilege. It's uncomfortable and you will screw up and that will be uncomfortable too.

          1 reply 5 retweets 73 likes
        18. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          17. But you'll be a more decent person. And you still won't be owed sex.

          1 reply 7 retweets 82 likes
        19. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          18. As before when I discussed this, I'm not interested in hearing from non-Autistic ppl who want to demonize Autistic men.

          2 replies 7 retweets 83 likes
        20. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          19. I'm more addressing my own community but ALSO. You should know that if he's being misogynistic, it's not bc he's Autistic.

          1 reply 13 retweets 109 likes
        21. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          20. Being Autistic doesn't make someone abusive, oppressive, or a bigot. If an Autistic person is being those things, you can call them out.

          2 replies 35 retweets 141 likes
        22. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          21. It's not ableism to point out to an Autistic person that they're being harmful. That said, there are certain things to keep in mind.

          1 reply 9 retweets 87 likes
        23. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          22. As Autistic people, we don't always understand the social significance of things we say or do.

          1 reply 8 retweets 78 likes
        24. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          23. We might mirror behavior we've observed being accepted specifically bc it seems acceptable rather than bc it makes sense to us.

          1 reply 11 retweets 93 likes
        25. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          24. That said, we're still responsible for the harm we do and for finding ways to minimize or eliminate or make reparations for that harm.

          1 reply 9 retweets 80 likes
        26. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          25. So again. Yes, if an Autistic person is harming you, it's fine to tell them so.

          1 reply 6 retweets 77 likes
        27. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          26. Apparently this article (screenshot via @LakeZenobia; thx!) is why this is being talked about again. Ugh.pic.twitter.com/0YtXZHrHbR

          Tweet from @tclementsuk (display name: The Autistic Buddha): Involuntary celibacy has terrible effects on #MentalHealth of many autistic men. Time to face this problem. #Autism

Link goes to a Wordpress post entitled The Pain of Celibacy for Autistic men. The beginning of the URL is aspiejournal.wordpress.com.
          2 replies 5 retweets 41 likes
        28. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          Blecch. Blergh. Gross.

          2 replies 1 retweet 51 likes
        29. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          Eb Retweeted Eb

          Anyway.https://twitter.com/erabrand/status/830907231856123905 …

          Eb added,

          Eb @EbThen
          Replying to @EbThen
          1. If my work helps you, you can send me $ or buy me things. http://a.co/85sSulM  http://paypal.me/ebebeb   http://cash.me/$ebebebeb 
          1 reply 4 retweets 29 likes
        30. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          I said this elsewhere, but it's not that there isn't a problem. It's more that these men have misidentified the problem and its causes.

          1 reply 9 retweets 53 likes
        31. Eb‏ @EbThen 18 May 2017
          Replying to @EbThen

          To them, the problem isn't that toxic masculinity creates harmful expectations for individuals and relationships.

          1 reply 9 retweets 54 likes
        32. 23 more replies

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