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Calling your co-workers NPCs and asking them if they have any quests is generally inadvisable.
26 retweets 59 favoritesFive Nights at Freddys 2 is now available to Windows Phone users who want to break their phones, too. http://www.windowsphone.com/s?appid=399eb1b0-64af-4ccd-8dd6-a93cc799ce2a … Thanks, Scott!
5 retweets 9 favoritesNote to Self: If you're going to sing Shark Fighter at work make sure nobody else is around.
4 favoritesEmail: "Did 'The Dinosaur That Pooped A Planet' meet your expectations?" HOW COULD IT NOT? One of the greatest books of our generation. <3
1 retweet 2 favorites@Dragoneer That shouldn't be the case! Broccoli Cheddar is a classic. We'd like to look into this for you. Which bakery-cafe did you visit?
Apparently, Amazon rebranded the Fire phone. http://gizmodo.com/amazon-has-new-diapers-and-baby-wipes-for-prime-members-1666682539 …
1 favoriteI typed in "Werewolf" in Amazon's search. Pretty much everything that comes up is gay young adult werewolf romance novels. <___<
1 retweet 11 favorites"Why are you depressed?" "Because I'm not Godzilla."
7 retweets 18 favoritesThis Starbucks gift card design is just pure win. <3 https://www.starbucks.com/images/cardimages/card_FoxFY15_261.png …
1 retweet 1 favoriteEvery time I grab my tech crash cart at work I yell "Appa! YIP YIP!" internally and start zooming away with it.
1 retweet 14 favoritesWent to Panera for noms. "The broccoli and cheddar soup has been discontinued." What? WHAT? You're dead to me, Panera. DEAD TO ME!
1 retweet 11 favoritesSaid the shepherd boy to the mighty king, "I know something you don't know! I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW!" Then the shepherd boy was dead
2 retweets 10 favoritesChewbacca is an undocumented immigrant.
4 retweets 6 favoritesThey switched the toilet paper at work to like... I dunno, HALF ply. It disintegrates if my hand even comes near it.
1 retweet 11 favorites"Twin-headed cum butler" is the best insult I got from this insult generator. http://foulomatic.hnldesign.nl/
4 favoritesSony needs to make a PS4 that looks like the original PSX. Retro future is amazing.
1 retweet 11 favoritesWe have 3 new suits debuting at #MFF2014 this weekend! Be sure to get pictures of these cuties! :D pic.twitter.com/KYWAI4CJ4F
"Our chicken is burned." "That's because you ordered online. Next time don't." Order online, and well burn your chicken. Thanks, Dominos
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