This. In my darkest moments over my many years on the job market was the hardest thing to accept about possibly leaving academia. 1/2 https://twitter.com/mikers86/status/1142845323750105090 …
It took me a while to understand that this was structural and not personal even though the rejections felt personal, espyafter campus visits. I’m glad you were able to see that sooner. It also doesn’t help that post-PhD life can be very isolating.
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I would say that a lot of it is structural, but not all. When you are up for a TT at a school where you’ve been teaching for 2 years with great evals and they choose someone else...that is personal.
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I guess what I’m saying is it’s ok to be bitter and resentful. I think it’s healthy to find others in same boat. Especially people whose work you admire. This happens to most of us now, even really fantastic scholars and teachers. Seeing what is possible after is helpful.
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