This. In my darkest moments over my many years on the job market was the hardest thing to accept about possibly leaving academia. 1/2 https://twitter.com/mikers86/status/1142845323750105090 …
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I don’t feel personal shame anymore. I feel some (ok, at times a lot of) bitterness and resentment and disappointment in a few people in particular. But I don’t feel like I personally failed.
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It took me a while to understand that this was structural and not personal even though the rejections felt personal, espyafter campus visits. I’m glad you were able to see that sooner. It also doesn’t help that post-PhD life can be very isolating.
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