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New York Times Pitchbot
@DougJBalloon
Parody. Resist lib Brandonista. merch: stores.inksoft.com/nytpitchbot
Assassination coordinatesballoon-juice.comJoined March 2009

New York Times Pitchbot’s Tweets

Our model now predicts another 30 mass shootings before the end of 2023. And Nate tells you the best things to order at an outlet mall food court. All that and more on the next 538 podcast.
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Harlan Crow’s Isle The millionaire took little buddy Clarence Thomas on more than a three-hour tour, but it’s women’s rights that ended up in reruns. by Maureen Dowd
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Nobody Beats the Liz SilVal bad girl Elizabeth Holmes may have a bun in oven, but she’s still got blood on her hands. Pay no attention to the gal behind the curtain. by Maureen Dowd
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A slough-side cafe in deep blue Moss Landing might seem like a strange place to meet Trump supporters. But over the barking of the sea lions you can hear whispers that Biden is the reason the sand dabs are $22.
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We wanted to understand why convicted fraudster Elizabeth Holmes deserves clemency. So we talked to three New York Times reporter at a taco shop in Mission Hills.
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In this Ohio town, it was a tradition: put on a black turtleneck, defraud investors out of billions of dollars, then over to the Lucha Libre taco shop for a softball interview with the Times. But now the woke mob is taking all of that away.
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“The black turtlenecks are gone. So is the voice. As the convicted Theranos founder awaits prison, she has adopted a new persona: devoted mother.”
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Flying the Nazi flag, the Hindenburg arrived in New Jersey on this date in 1937, where it exploded in flames, killing all 36 people on board and making eyewitness broadcaster Herb Morrison cry, “Oh, the humanity!” Here’s why that’s bad news for Joe Biden
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It’s understandable that Putin, who I do not support, would want to invade Ukraine. But the West’s proxy war is pure neocon shitlib imperialism. by Glenn Greenwald
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Liberals love to talk about systemic bias when it suits their purposes but does anyone think we'd be talking about Clarence Thomas traveling on a billionaire's yacht, having a billionaire pay his nephew's tuition, and having secret payments funneled to his wife if he was white?
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Whether it’s Charles accepting his crown as lifelong king or it’s Clarence Thomas accepting decades of bribes as a lifelong Supreme Court Justice, long-standing political traditions are withstanding the test of time on both sides of the Atlantic.
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