Palmerston

Enjoying my first Christmas in my new family home. Hoping Santa Paws left me some Dreamies under the tree xxxpic.twitter.com/0BxnqQvKZr

The Minister handed Palmerston back to Kay & cheerfully headed for her shiny black car. As Ms Nero waved goodbye, she was not sure what had just happened. But she admitted that @foreignoffice’s latest employee might not be so bad after all. Palmerston was a diplomatic superstar!pic.twitter.com/GPsvTj7Nh6

Kay was overjoyed to see Palmerston again & the ice was broken with the Minister. “I have 2 cats at home. They’ll be thrilled to know I’ve met the most famous cat in .” Soon she looked happier. “You are ’s secret weapon. Meeting you I see a solution to the cheese problem!”pic.twitter.com/qcC554BUUE

“Oh, no!” exclaimed Ms Nero. “Get away!” “But it’s Palmerston!” said the Minister, scooping up the black & white blur. “More than anything else, I wanted to meet you today. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Ms Nero froze as the Minister carried Palmy to Kay’s office.pic.twitter.com/wMSDobvapB

“Would you step this way, Minister?” asked Ms Nero. The Minister tried to look into Kay’s office before submitting to Ms Nero’s direction. She seemed distracted. An hour later she emerged from Simon’s office & Ms Nero tried to escort her to the exit. Suddenly a blur flitted by.pic.twitter.com/nrWm8y55hx

On the day of the visit Ms Nero declared herself satisfied with preparations. “You may hold the door, Kay, but leave the talking to me.” With Palmerston missing, Kay was sad but too busy to dwell on her sadness. At a signal from Brian, she alerted Simon to the minister’s arrival.pic.twitter.com/57iSdoWFeg

Ms Nero didn’t share Kay’s distress at Palmerston’s disappearance: “One less thing to worry about! He won’t get under the minister’s feet & I can wear black, my favourite colour.” Ms Nero’s happiness was not contagious. Only Brian was optimistic: “He’ll reappear with impact!”pic.twitter.com/fTFXeyC3Li

Ms Nero appeared in Kay’s office at the start of the next week. Hearing her loud voice, Simon joined them: “I’m worried about the minister; she’s blocking agreement on cheese quotas. How can we get her to change her mind?” Ms Nero shrugged & Simon went back into his office.pic.twitter.com/EJmmNjP4bB

Kay didn’t see Palmerston for the rest of the week. She mobilised “Palmy’s Army”, who helped her look after him. They checked all his usual hiding places, but could find no trace. Brain was not worried: “He’s showing us who’s in charge. He’ll reappear when he’s good and ready!”pic.twitter.com/vV6XPwAc1t

Palmerston had never come across someone like Ms Nero in his time at the Foreign Office. He gave her a haughty look and ran away, faster than if he had spotted a mouse. No-one saw him for the rest of the day, or the day after that. For the 1st 24 hours, Kay did not worry.pic.twitter.com/bMHdYoGyIE

At that moment, Palmerston strolled into the office, jumped onto Kay’s desk & started grooming. “Oh, no!” exclaimed Ms Nero, “we cannot have a CAT getting in the way. They shed hair everywhere.” Palmerston did not react, so Ms Nero shoo-ed him away, “Get OUT, you are not wanted.”pic.twitter.com/p4FBrIwd4L

Just after lunch, Kay heard the loud voice barking orders at someone having difficulty keeping up: “You will clear this area. Guards must prevent people wandering through.” As she entered Kay’s office, Ms Nero frowned: “This place will have to be tidier when the minister visits.”pic.twitter.com/011nWDTPeR

A few weeks later Kay answered a call to a loud voice, “Ms Nero here; I need Simon’s office. The Australian Foreign Minister is coming for trade talks next week & Simon must meet her. I must inspect his office today.” Kay did not relish meeting Palmerston’s biggest critic...pic.twitter.com/Kdxg5yPxMx

Next day Kay sent the ambassador a “signed” photo of Palmerston. She hoped his children wouldn’t detect a forgery. And she decided not to worry so much about trying to hide Palmerston from visitors. He enjoyed the new policy & all the treats people now brought him.pic.twitter.com/elihroc3vg

Kay wasn’t sure if official visitors would like Palmerston; she kept him out of sight when ambassadors came to see Simon. But one day she noticed the Japanese looking sad & asked if he was OK. “I told my children I would get a photo of Palmerston; they will be disappointed.”pic.twitter.com/oks7xvFzWn

Brian’s office in the basement became Palmerston’s second favourite place (after Kay’s office). And Brian solved all of Ms Nero’s objections: he volunteered to look after Palmerston at nights, weekends and holidays. Brian and Kay were Palmerston’s favourite humans.pic.twitter.com/kUUPfUFG3o

The building was huge with doors too big to nudge open; not one had a cat flap! But Palmerston had only to wait a few seconds by a door for it to open. He explored the whole office, trying to find Brian who had given him a tasty treat on his 1st day. He never forgot a friend.pic.twitter.com/2He60G63jZ

Everyone suddenly found an excuse to visit Kay without admitting the real reason: Palmerston quickly became @foreignoffice’s most famous employee. He accepted attention without complaint but Kay made sure he had a private zone where he could retreat when life got too noisy.pic.twitter.com/ILaHo8HlaZ

Fabi jumped out and hugged Kay like a long lost friend. “He’s the coolest cat we’ve ever had.” Fabi opened the van doors to reveal a travelling case containing a large black-&-white cat, cleaning his paws. “Welcome to your new home!” said Kay, carrying him into the office.pic.twitter.com/hJQzmydfZ0