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  1. Retweeted
    Jan 31
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  2. Retweeted
    Jan 15

    rt if u have seen seinfeld

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  3. 27 May 2019

    Does Donald Trump know how to ride a bike?

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  4. 27 May 2019

    My mother in law is power washing the OUTSIDE of the garbage bin. I........ why? Doesn’t garbage go IN the bin?

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  5. Retweeted
    25 May 2019

    Oh my Andrei Vasilevskiy, this has to be the save of the season. Frankly it hurts just to watch ... longer clip and slo-mo replay in our Instagram feed:

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  6. Retweeted
    24 May 2019

    The Uncle Who You Think is About to Say Something Horrible Based on His Voice, Face, and Demeanor, But Then He’s Progressive! The character that’s sweeping the nation!

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  7. 15 May 2019

    Fix your schools, fix your infrastructure, fix your poverty. If you work on fixing these issues you’ll save SO MANY MORE LIVES than any ban on abortion ever would.

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  8. 10 May 2019

    I'm getting nostalgic for the days of M*A*S*H reruns.

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  9. Retweeted
    8 May 2019

    My idiot furry son has one job at night - bork at things and make them go away. Easy, right? HOWEVER, a bear has learned that my furry son can be bought. This is the THIRD TIME he's been gifted deer bones in exchange for being allowed access to my trash, AND HE KEEPS DOING IT.

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  10. 27 Apr 2019

    BISHOP!

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  11. Retweeted
    19 Apr 2019

    “Homer! I love amateur video, and your show is the most amateur video I ever saw. Mah hobby is secretly videotaping couples in cars. I dinna come forward because in this country, it makes you look like a pervert, but every single Scottish person does it!”

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  12. 19 Apr 2019

    Gene Simmons & Donald Trump are the same person. It’s the only way any of this makes sense.

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  13. Retweeted
    8 Apr 2019

    RT if you were this many years old when you learned that the creases aren’t painted anymore.

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  14. Retweeted

    a man who kisses, grabs and assaults women whenever his diseased brain feels like it, a man who attacks people at any and every perceived slight is accusing other people of being animals. got it.

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  15. Retweeted

    There’s a difference between trying to get hit and KNOWING you are going to get hit and turning to get hit in a less painful part of the body...common sense needs to prevail here.

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  16. Retweeted

    In 30 years of coaching, this may be the worst rule ever implemented...EVER. And it’s not the umpires fault..they don’t like it either. Huge changes must be made this offseason. If the ball is in the batters box, it’s an HBP no matter what the hitter does.

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  17. Retweeted

    Seriously y’all. I have more than I deserve and I’m grateful, but there are so many songwriters out there who work harder than I do and barely scrape by, or have to give it up altogether. Art gets better when it is valued. Life is better with art.

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  18. Retweeted

    For context on Manafort’s 47 months in prison, my client yesterday was offered 36-72 months in prison for stealing $100 worth of quarters from a residential laundry room.

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