𝑫𝒆𝒕. 𝑱𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝑮𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒔  

@DetectiveGittes

She walked into my office. 'A criminal stole the Presidency,' she said. I knew this case would be trouble...but I poured her a drink. 'When do I start?'

Joined August 2017
Born 12 February 1901

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  1. Pinned Tweet

    I'm not going to disparage ANY candidate that runs for the Dem. nomination. Will I discuss disagreements on policy? Yes. But unproven allegations or conspiracy theories? Nope. Let's not poison the well from which we might need to drink. Will you take that pledge?

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  2. First it was a concrete wall. Now, it's a steel fence. Maybe next week it'll be a glass dome?

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  3. REPUBLICANS: "We don't like Big Government!" ALSO REPUBLICANS: "We want Big Government to forcibly seize nearly 5000 properties through eminent domain so we can build Trump's slat fence!"

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  4. On today's episode of "Idiot Criminals Acting Like Dumbass Idiot Dumbasses" (working title): A man tried to kidnap a woman and chases her into a karate studio. Runs into the karate instructor. Karate instructor: "He was dealt with accordingly." 😂😂👊

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  5. 13 hours ago

    These were 17 of the most incredible and impressive rescues of

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  6. 14 hours ago

    What does our 1st major bill, do? 1. Ban voter roll purging, increase voting rights 2. Expand automatic & online voter reg. + early voting 3. Give public matching funds for small-donors, reducing big $ influence 4. Mandatory independent redistricting to limit gerrymandering

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  7. is now saying he wants a steel wall because it's stronger than concrete. This guy is all over the place. Reminder from just a few days ago:

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  8. Next time you see some idiot calling it a "Schumer Shutdown," remind them: 👉Trump said he proudly owned the shutdown 👉 House Dems passed a bill to reopen the government 👉 McConnell won't even allow a vote on it 👉 Trump threatened to veto it & keep the government shutdown

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  9. Even a broken clock is right twice per day.

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  10. What a ridiculous assertion, . ~RECAP~ GOP: "Vote against the will of your constituents or we'll PROUDLY break the government." DEMS: "No." GOP: "Fine, then. We're breaking the government." *GOP breaks government* GUTHRIE: "...Um, are both sides to blame?🤷"

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  12. 4/ Q: Why won't Trump stay at the Ritz Carlton Moscow any longer? A: The last time he was there, the room service really bugged him and just left him pissed.

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  13. 3/ Q: Does Individual1 suffer from narcissistic personality disorder? A: Of course not. He enjoys every minute of it. --- Q: I've never heard Melania actually speak to Trump. Not once since he announced in 2015. Why is that? A: She's waiting to avoid interrupting him.

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  14. 2/ Q: What's Individual1's favorite Disney movie? A: The Lyin' King (we would've also accepted "Wall-E") --- Q: Lot's of talk that he's lacks an understanding of different cultures. But what's the one culture that's truly close to Trump's heart? A: Cheese

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  15. 😂 Really Cheesy Joke Thread 😂 Q: What does Individual1 have in common with Russian dolls? A: They're both full of themselves! --- Q: Why doesn't Individual1 like jokes about border walls? A: Because he never gets them. (1/4)

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  16. Oh, look, Republicans dismissing the popular vote again. Reminder: they lost almost every presidential popular vote in the last quarter century. Since 1992, Democrats won the popular vote in 6 out of 7 presidential elections ...but who cares what the people want, right? 🤷‍♂️

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  17. The SCOTUS is vital. It can change the political landscape overnight, for a generation or more. To the liberals who say "____ or bust" or "Never ____" -- stop & wake up! Our only chance of not losing the SCOTUS for the next 30 yrs is to in 2020 no matter the nominee.

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  18. Jan 2
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  19. What the hell is he taking about. The question was about the wall funding and he went on a full 5 mintute rant about his popularity in Europe. He has no self-control.

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  20. Wow...Did Ronna Romney McDaniel seriously just sell out her OWN FAMILY to defend the Manbaby in Chief? This is her pinned tweet! First she changes her name at Trump's command, now this. She has no honor and no spine; the perfect chairwoman.

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